Season: Autumn
Writer: Nishioka (feat. Akira)
Characters: Mao, Ritsu, Mika, Arashi, Tori, Hajime, Yuzuru, Anzu
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Mao: -Huh.
In other words, “Chanbara Night” is a variety show where the participants are divided into two teams that compete against each other.
Ritsu: Those kinds of competitive variety shows have been popping up all over lately, haven't they? They're definitely really trendy nowadays.
At this point, there are so many shows with that setting that they've started melting together in my head and I can't tell them apart.
Arashi: Well, it’s all about supply and demand, so it makes sense that they all tend to stay within the most popular genre.
This is my first time hearing about “Chanbara Night” as well.
Despite that, I’m surprised Mika-chan knew about it. Have you watched it before?
Mika: Yea~h. I’ve watched it before, but I can’t exactly say it’s surprisin’ that Naru-chan and ya others haven’t heart ‘bout it before.
“Chanbara Night” is a popular show produced back in my hometown, ya see. So it’s super famous around that area, but I don’t think it’s very well-known outside of there.
Each episode has its own theme for the teams who compete. The people who’re watchin’ pick which team they want ta cheer on, which gets ya weirdly invested and creates a sense of unity with that team.
Among the episodes I’ve seen, the most excitin’ one was about a showdown between those mushroom-shaped chocolates and the bamboo shoot-shaped chocolates.*
There was also a really excitin’ episode where the teams fought about whether fries or nuggets are the best side dish ta have with hamburgers.
Mao: Ah. So that’s how the team system works. I’ll admit it sounds kinda fun, like a festival. And both teams’ opinions are easy to understand or relate to… I feel like it would be difficult to pick a side.
Tori: Oh, O~h! I’m picking the bamboo shoot ones! I’d definitely side with the bamboo shoot ones. I love that chocolate and cookie combo~
Hajime: Eh. The bamboo shoot ones definitely taste good, but I have to give it to the mushroom ones. Those crackers are so crunchy and delicious ♪
Tori: Eeh~! I thought Hajime would be on my side! You traitor…!
What about you, Yuzuru? Of course, you’re on the bamboo shoot-faction with me, right?
Yuzuru: Uuuhm. I have to admit all this talk about mushrooms and bamboo is a tad confusing… Are these types of sweets you’re referring to?
And the fact that Bocchama knows about something which I do not… Well then, Bocchama. I’ll take it you have been eating sweets in secrecy again?
Tori: Ggh!? I, I have not!?
Come on, I was obviously just speaking in hypotheticals. My, my, Yuzuru~. Ahahaha………
Hajime: I understand how this “Chanbara Night” show works now. Then what kind of theme will we be competing about for this episode?
Ritsu: N~? Anzu is making a complicated expression, isn’t she?
…Hmm. So this episode’s theme will be different from any previous ones. And? What theme is that, exactly?
Hajime: Eeh!? We will be competing over the survival of an old inn!?
Ritsu: Ah, so that’s what it was. The number of customers coming to the inn has been decreasing, so the owners are falling into financial trouble.
So, the old owner and his successor and son, the young owner, are quarreling about whether they should close down the inn, or renovate it to be more modern.
And the winner of the showdown gets to decide the inn’s fate… huh.
Hajime: Doesn’t that mean that the fate of the inn is in our hands…?
Mao: Isn’t this theme way too heavy? Or more like, the burden put on us is way too heavy.
Yuzuru: I’m surprised that the two parties agreed to compete in this fashion in the first place… Could it be that the outcome has already been decided on, and this competition is simply a farce?
Hm. So the showdown is not rigged, the owners simply wish for a serious showdown to determine the inn’s fate.
Arashi: It sounds as if the show production heard about the owners fighting and decided to exploit the situation…
Aah, it’s true that projects are sometimes started because of things like this. I’ve heard people talking about it down at the TV station.
But normally the inn wouldn’t sign off on a project like this, no? Especially when the project seems so bad-spirited.
Mika: Huh~... So the other staff members thought the same at first, Anzu? But when they went ta ask the inn owners, they somehow gave their consent… I guess stranger things’ve happened.
Tori: I mean, it’s kinda strange that they’re moving ahead with this show when absolutely everyone involved thinks it sounds like a weird project.
Ritsu: In the end, the project was approved, and the request was sent to us.
…Honestly speaking, I don’t really feel like doing it. It feels like we’re invading a domestic dispute. I would prefer if we didn’t have to get involved in something like this, you know?
Hajime: Then, are you going to decline?
Ritsu: Well~, I’m not really in a position to pick and choose which jobs I accept right now. Even if it’s a local show, my popularity would plummet if I started refusing to appear on popular shows.
So even though I don’t feel particularly enthusiastic about this, I’ll pretend like I am and complete the job.
Mao: Yup, you’re right. It feels like a heavy burden, but the affected parties have all given their consent. We should just focus on getting the job done.
By the way, if we’re going to be competing in teams, then that means all of us here will be divided into two teams right? How are we gonna be divided?
Ritsu: Of course, me and Ma~kun are in the same team. I wouldn’t accept anything else.
…Hey, Anzu. Did you just avert your eyes? Don’t go around thinking you can fool me.
You know. You’re gonna have to explain yourself sooner or later anyways, so it might be safer for you if you tell us now.
Arashi: Now, Ritsu-chan. Stop trying to intimidate Anzu-chan.
Judging from how Anzu-chan is acting, the teams have been decided already, right? Would you tell us, please?
Hajime: …Uhm. So it’s me, Isara-senpai, Tori-kun and Kagehira-senpai on one team.
Yuzuru: Which means Sakuma-sama, Narukami-sama and myself will be on the other team.
Ritsu: Okay, I object. I super object. I just went on strike. There’s no way I’ll accept this. Why would you divide us like that?
Tori: Me too. I’m happy to be on the same team as Hajime, but why can’t I be with Yuzuru? How did you decide on these teams? It’s almost as if you made sure that the people who get along well are on different teams.
Eh? That’s exactly the point!?
Mao: -Ah, I see. Since the theme for the episode is centered around a parent-child showdown, they wanted to create teams where the opposing idols would be in a similar situation.
Ritsu: I don't care if the reasoning is sound or if it will get fans excited.
Mao: Hey now. Weren’t you just saying how you would pretend like you’re enthusiastic so you can complete the job?
Ritsu: That’s a completely different matter than this.
TL-notes:
* - Mika is referring to a popular type of chocolate/sweets sold in Japan named Takenoko no Sato and Kinoko no Yama. People are often
very opinionated in preferring one over the other. Also the bamboo ones are apparently extremely sweet so. Makes sense that Tori would go with that one.
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