Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Tsukasa

-

 

 

Madara: “♪~♪~♪”

 

“Mikejima Madara’s ~ ♪”

 

“It’s the final episode! “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles” ~!”

 

“Hahaha! Earth-shattering! To commemorate the final episode, we’ve rented out an entire hotel to broadcast from!”

 

“Thanks to all of you, this show went off the rails in popularity. So today we wanted to make use of all the money we earned that way and deliver this special episode to you!”

 

“Happy and thrilling! Let’s shoot up extravagant fireworks to finish this day of celebration!”

 

“These extraordinary days are coming to a close, to usher in the return of our peaceful daily lives! To celebrate, let’s unfold a grand festival!”

 

“Saying goodbye is lonely, but that is exactly why we will do so with a smile big enough to blow that sadness away!”

 

“♪~♪~♪”

 

 

Tsukasa: -It seems they’ve begun.

 

I am on standby in the designated room. Yes, I used a fake name to borrow a room in the luxury hotel which stands directly across from the filming site. I am quietly monitoring the situation from here.

 

Simultaneously, I have utilized my authority as an investor in both the program and Double Face to be allowed to receive live footage of the scene as they are shooting the show.

 

I have asked to see the footage live before as well, so that request shouldn’t come across as unnatural.

 

However. If I make my existence known any further, I might end up antagonizing the kidnapper, so I can’t do any more than this.

 

All I can do is to keep checks on the situation on-site while reporting to you like this, Saegusa-senpai.

 

Yes. For now, Mikejima-senpai is the only person visible at the scene.

 

The culprit has designated their request to Double Face, but unfortunately, Double Face has already announced their disbandment. 

 

Since it would be exceedingly unnatural for them to hold a reunion live this soon after disbanding, Mikejima-senpai is acting on his own for now-

 

Or rather, he apparently insisted on appearing on the show as MaM.

 

It seems the culprit also wanted to avoid attracting negative attention, so he had to accept that request, although reluctantly.

 

Of course. Since we ended up forcing a condition onto the culprit, they insisted we also go along with one condition of theirs in return.

 

Because of that, Mikejima-senpai is currently the only person physically present on the set on the luxury hotel roof, as per the culprit’s request. We ended up paying much more money than expected thanks to that.

 

Yes. The footage I am receiving is therefore being automatically filmed by a Camera on-site.

 

This is a highly unusual sight within Idol work. There truly isn’t a single member of Staff on-site currently, not even a Cameraman.

 

Mikejima-senpai is all on his own in that dangerous place.

 

At this point in time, it is impossible to say whether this choice, this deal with the culprit, was a point of success or of failure.

 

Our negotiations also gave us the advantage of Oukawa being able to move freely.

 

He was able to avoid appearing on the program. In other words, he can avoid exposing himself in front of our enemy. 

 

I’m afraid even I do not know what that child is currently doing, and where he has gone to. There is the possibility that I could be captured by the enemy in search of information on him, after all.

 

As a precaution, Oukawa is currently hiding his whereabouts from all of us and moving around secretly. Of course, his aim is to rescue J-san from these villains.

 

The Oukawas, the clan who carried the dark secrets for us Suous, are skilled at such dealings in the dark.

 

I will give him my seal of approval as the Suou family head.

 

This Mission will definitely end in success.

 

…Of course, personally I would like Oukawa, and Mikejima-senpai as well, to avoid undertaking any more dangerous work like this henceforth.

 

Yes. That is why I’m praying that this job will be the last dirty job they will have to complete.

 

Those two have fought endlessly in a domain of darkness of the type I cannot even imagine. This might be the time when the experience and the skills they have honed up until now come to fruition. 

 

I would like to think that the reason they had to swim through that sea of blood was so they would be able to save that innocent child - J - today.

 

Of course. It is not as if all their sins can be forgiven just because they were committed for a noble cause.

 

It is as Oukawa said himself. They only have themselves to thank for the fact that they are undergoing such hardships currently.

 

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, of course, but their actions up until now is what brought about this tragedy in the first place.

 

However. They are now attempting to fix this situation they have caused. They are risking their lives by putting themselves into the most dangerous position.

 

They have dirtied themselves, but I can sense a little beauty in their actions, their way of life. I myself am also the son of a samurai family whose position was built on top of a mountain of human corpses.

 

Dirty and clean, clean and dirty… Whether those two, whether Double Face is good or bad is not for me to judge, but rather for the historians of the future.

 

As for me personally, I cannot reject their every action. Of course, I cannot accept their every action either.

 

I am no longer capable of holding the sins they have built up while walking through the mud thus far in enmity.

 

Though it was but for a short time, we lived together under the same roof-

 

Now that I have come to see behind their facade, I am incapable of dismissing them as simple dirtied villains. I cannot declare them to be filth and turn my eyes away from them.

 

Double Face, those two have continued to struggle in the grey area between light and darkness, good and evil.

 

I plan to watch over this last mission of theirs from here.

 

From this shore, where mud from the swamp they swim in can still reach and stain my body.



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Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Ibara, Madara, Kohaku, Tsukasa

 

 

Ibara: Yes. Putting J-san aside, Oukawa-shi is currently a member of one of the top earners for us at CosPro, Crazy:B.

It would be convenient for us if you, who are affiliated with a different agency, could take on all of the responsibility.

 

Anzu-san might get angry with you again, if you keep up this self-sacrificing habit of yours.

 

I prefer to consider the situation from a business-like perspective, however, and I insist on respecting your wishes.

 

Returning to the problem at hand, I’ll repeat my previous questions. What do you want to do? Do you want to cancel the show? Or would you like to continue?

 

Madara: …I’m not qualified to make that decision. Or rather, this isn’t something we should decide on our own.

 

J should decide. The most important thing is what he wants to do.

 

I’ve kept making mistakes because I never took that into consideration, or even thought about it.

 

At this point I’ve reflected on my own behavior, and want to do what’s right, this time for sure.

 

Ibara: …All villains are destined to be defeated by the allies of justice.

 

Villains can’t reflect on themselves, reform their ideology, and be reborn as an ally of justice.

 

You see it happen sometimes in Buddhist stories and old shounen manga, but reality is not that kind.

 

In “my” eyes, you look almost laughably much like you’re suffocating right now now*.

 

Madara: …

 

 

Madara: -J, how are you feeling?

 

Hahaha. I bet you’re surprised. I was kicked out of the hospital room earlier because the staff didn’t want me catching your cold, but there are many convenient ways to sneak into places.

 

Though I guess that also means any villains targeting you would have an equally easy time sneaking in here, so it’s not very good.

 

It might be better if we moved you to a hospital with a little more security if you’re gonna stay hospitalized. Like the hospital where my sister is receiving treatment, that place is specifically made to treat members of the police force.

 

…J? What’s wrong, you’re not saying anything.

 

Are you sleeping? Did they give you the kind of cold medicine that makes you sleepy?

 

(-No, that’s not it. There’s clearly someone under the futon, but even if J was to pull the futon all the way over his head, this still doesn’t look like J’s body.)

 

(J is too small and thin for his age, but even considering that this futon looks overly large on him.)

 

-J!

 

…!? Eh, why are you here? What’s going on?

 

Kohaku: Madara-ha~n!

 

Where’s J? Is he okay? Argh, I don’t even know what ta say, how could somethin’ happen ta J when y’all were together?

 

Madara: …Kohaku-san.

 

Kohaku: Wh, what’s wrong? Ya look so pale, is J’s condition really that bad?

 

Wait, what’s goin’ on in here? That’s yer sister, Maguro-han, ain’t it? Why’s she bound up in the bed like that?

 

What are the two of ya doin’, really?

 

Madara: You know, I don’t have the slightest clue myself-

 

J was supposed to be asleep in that bed, but when I moved the futon my sister was bound up there in his place.

 

J has disappeared somewhere.

 

Kohaku: …

 

 

Ibara: -It seems like someone took advantage of the disturbance caused by J-san collapsing.

 

I was busy contacting everyone involved in the program, and even Mikejima-shi was uncharacteristically obedient and left the hospital when asked to by the doctors.

 

To rebel against the doctor’s instructions when at the hospital would not only be pointless, but could even be harmful, after all. There was nothing else he could have done.

 

There was nothing Mikejima-shi could do for J-san while he was sick, so even though he was worried for J-san he had no choice but to leave the hospital room.

 

However, some scoundrel took advantage of that momentary gap in our security. He colluded with a fake doctor to get inside the hospital room, after which he swiftly kidnapped J and escaped through a back entrance.

 

In this way, J-san ended up stolen from us.

 

Tsukasa: Are we pursuing the kidnapper?

 

Ibara: Of course, I quickly mobilized my private forces and sent them in pursuit. 

 

The kidnapper is a professional. There were almost no traces left in the room after the kidnapping, and the surveillance cameras both inside the hospital and in the nearby areas had been disabled aforehand. Honestly speaking, tracking him will be extremely difficult.

 

They’ve completely defeated us. The whole case was almost suspiciously well executed. 

 

J-san’s sudden collapse should have been a completely unexpected occurrence for everyone.

 

And yet. J-san collapsed, was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, was examined and admitted to the hospital, after which he was taken to his room-

 

All this took place in less than an hour. During this time, the kidnapper managed to prepare and commit a seemingly perfect crime.

 

Perfectly utilizing the split second during which we were unable to react.

 

Tsukasa: Does that mean this person noticed J-san’s physical condition worsening beforehand and spent time preparing for the crime?

 

Ibara: There was no way to foresee this incident, which is exactly what makes me think this case is unnatural.

 

Though we can’t exclude the possibility that the culprit had prepared countless potential plans and one of them coincidentally happened to work out.

 

I just cannot help but feel suspicious.

 

Tsukasa: Suspicious in what way?

 

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Kohaku, Tsukasa

 

 

Madara: “Madara and J’s~♪”

 

“For the sixth time! “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”~!”

 

Kohaku: … (Silently exits the browser.)

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: Kohaku~n? Let’s try to eat something, okay?

 

Kohaku: …I’ll have somethin' later if I feel like it.

 

Tsukasa: “If I feel like it” won’t cut it. If you don’t eat proper meals, you will fall sick.

 

Kohaku: Actually, why are ya botherin’ me instead of doin’ yer own work?

 

Yer the head of Knights, part of ES’ big three. Yer the head of the Suou family. There must be a mountain of things fer ya to do. 

 

Tsukasa: You are more important than work.

 

I have my priorities straight.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa. I don’t know what happened between you and Mikejima-senpai, but-

 

Kohaku: Nothin’, really. That guy. It’s my loss fer ever gettin’ ta know him, I swear.

 

He said he didn’t need me an’ then he fired me. Who does he think he is, really. Just thinkin’ back ta it is makin’ me angry all over again.

 

Tsukasa: To be fair, a Unit’s Leader does have the authority to expel any Member.

 

Kohaku: What’s that? It’s hard ta hear ya when ya speak in italics like that!

 

Tsukasa: You should study English more. It is known as the lingua franca of the world, after all.

 

Kohaku: Hah, I wasn’t allowed ta go ta school due to my weird family circumstances, ya see.

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa.

 

Kohaku: Wh, what is it? Don’t cling to my back like that. What are ya, some weird yokai or bug?

 

Tsukasa: You’re both smart and kind, I’m sure you realize this yourself.

 

You’re not angry at Mikejima-senpai or your family. You’re angry at yourself for being unable to do anything.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: I’ve been through something similar myself. I didn’t realize I was angry with myself for being powerless, stupid, and unable to do anything, so I took my anger out on those around me.

 

The reason why you weren’t allowed to attend school is because your family feared that you would be targeted by us Suous due to you being the future head of the Oukawas.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: They feared that my grandfather, who wanted to erase the Oukawas, would find your existence as a future clan head to be an eyesore.

 

Your family hid you away to prevent him from learning of your existence.

 

Because they loved you, because they wanted to protect you.

 

Kohaku: …Of course, I know that much. I also realize that my family in the past, and Madara-han of the present, were actin’ based on the same emotions.

 

I know that, but I just can’t accept it.

 

…Bon. J is a lot like me.

 

Tsukasa: Yes.

 

Kohaku: That kid’s existence creates conflict an’ disaster even if he himself doesn’t want that.

 

A parent’s actions affect the kid. And that kid was forced ta carry a heavy burden ever since he was born.

 

I had it much better compared ta him. At least my family loved me. Those feelings came through.

 

Meanwhile. That kid’s father tried ta make it so he never existed, and on top o’ that he mercilessly abandoned his child.

 

Tsukasa: It’s the exact opposite of your family.

 

Kohaku: I feel sorry fer him.

 

Until I came out from my prison and got ta see the wider world, I thought I was the most pitiful person in the world.

 

And yet, I wasn’t even bad off. I didn’t have freedom, but I had love.

 

Meanwhile, J has lived all on his own, without bein’ loved by anyone.

 

He might not realize this himself, but fer a kid like that, Madara-han must’ve been exactly the kinda person he was waitin’ fer.

 

Even if it was just as part of that stupid project where idols played at bein’ staff at the Maizuru House, Madara-han was able ta see J, and reached out ta him. 

 

Ta top it off, Madara-han eliminated the person who abandoned J, the person J probably hated more ‘n anythin’ else.

 

He must’ve looked like a hero in that kid’s eyes.

 

And once rogues aimin’ for his inheritance started movin’ around him, the first thing J did was reach out ta that hero of his.

 

My role in all that was simply ta play the hero’s sidekick. I could easily be replaced.

 

What J wanted was Madara-han, and I was just a bonus. I know that much.

 

I also know that the settin’ where I and Madara-han act as J’s parents ta raise him just serves as fuel fer the underworld’s “anxiety”.

 

But even then. It’s too heartless fer ‘im ta tell me not to get involved with ‘em anymore just ‘cause of that.

 

I get the reasonin’ behind his decision. I even agree with it. But painful things are still painful.

 

My heart’s hurtin’ an’ I feel tired, so I’m lettin’ myself sulk for a bit. That’s all there is. I’ll feel better in time, so I want ya ta leave me alone fer now.



Navigation:
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Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Tsukasa, Kohaku, Madara

 

-

 

 

Tsukasa: Welcome home, Oukawa! And to Mikejima-senpai and J-san as well!

 

I’ve made the preparations for dinner and a bath! You’ve all worked hard on-set today as well, so please take this time to rest your bones ♪

 

Kohaku: What are ya, a newlywed wife?

 

Madara: Nah, if anything he’s like an eldest daughter who’s a prim and proper honor student.

 

Tsukasa: I am the eldest son of the Suou family! What, are you two trying to make fun of me?

 

Kohaku: We’re praisin’ ya. Ya are Double Face’s biggest investor, but usually people don’t go out of their way like this fer people outside o’ their own unit. 

 

Ya could’ve just ignored us, but ya have been super nice ta us all this time.

 

Tsukasa: It’s only natural. Even though we belong to different Units, Double Face is an ally belonging to the same agency as myself. Besides, it is my duty as the head of the Suou family to protect Oukawa.

 

Of course, this extends to J-san, who is something like Oukawa’s child. 

 

Rather, if the two of you were to treat me as an outsider and refuse my involvement, that would only make me angry.

 

Kohaku: I hate that kinda behavior as well, so I would never do that to ya. But ya even went as far as ta remodel the Suou mansion that’s been in yer family fer generations all fer J’s sake.

 

Tsukasa: Yes. I asked Saegusa-senpai for advice and was able to rebuild our home into a stronghold capable of protecting J-san. Right now, even if a horde of rogues were to attack us, we would be fine.

 

Madara: We would have been fine staying in the hotel Ibara-san prepared for us as well, though.

 

Tsukasa: No can do. A Hotel is merely a temporary accommodation. It is not meant for longer periods of time.

 

It is hardly sufficient lodging for growing children. For J-san’s emotional development, staying in a place with a human soul will prove more beneficial.

 

Kohaku: Are ya sayin’ the Suou family mansion is that special?

 

Tsukasa: If it isn’t yet, then I will make it so. I’m serious about this.

 

Kohaku: I think it’s good. Fer me, even Starmony Dorm is too stylish ta get used to. Compared ta that, the Suou family mansion feels easier ta breathe in.

 

Madara: I’m inclined to agree. My family mansion feels too much like some yakuza headquarters, after all.

 

Well, I’m used to staying at hotels as well since I’ve been traveling abroad a lot. Still, staying at that luxury hotel made me feel as if Ibara-san was watching my every move, so I couldn’t really relax.

 

Tsukasa: I can imagine. I do hope you all can relax and enjoy yourselves while staying in my home.

 

I will protect your peace of mind.

 

Kohaku: Still, I’m surprised Ibara-han signed off on this. I would’ve expected him ta want ta keep J close-by fer the sake of the treasure chest which is GFK’s inheritance.

 

Tsukasa: My negotiations broke him down bit by bit.

 

It was a simple negotiation of exchanging goods for prices.

 

Those kinds of deals are easy to understand. I found Saegusa-senpai to be a much easier negotiation partner compared to Leo-san, who always acts purely based on intuition.

 

Madara: Ah~ Leo-san can be troublesome like that. I always feel as if I’m a foreign merchant trying to negotiate with someone who won’t take my currency.

 

Leo-san doesn’t really place any value in things like money, which are usually seen as important by businessmen like Ibara-san. 

 

Poor Leo-san must’ve really had a hard time when he got tangled up with GFK, who only ever cared about money.

 

Tsukasa: Fufu. Come to think of it, the tale of Double Face all began because of that person, didn’t it?

 

After all this time, allow me to say this one more time: Thank you very much for saving that person.

 

As the one who inherited the crown from that person, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Madara: You don’t owe me any thanks, it’s fine. I just wanted to help out my friend, that’s all.

 

That was supposed to be the whole story, and yet things became this complicated…

 

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪ Isn’t it karma after livin’ freely yer whole life, causin’ trouble fer everyone an’ everything?

 

It’s a proclamation from God, tellin’ ya to do somethin’ for the good of someone else fer once, I’m sure.

 

Madara: I doubt I’m living up to his expectations, then. All I’ve been doing lately is starring in that insane program of ours and playing the fool.

 

Personally, I would have preferred to flashily defeat the forces of evil with a Rider Kick or a Spacium Beam* or something cool like that. 

 

Tsukasa: Even if you say that, you are participating in that program on the basis that we all agreed that was the best course of action, correct?

 

I actually rather enjoy watching that program myself. Even though, as one of the investors, the footage is sent to me ahead of the broadcasting schedule so I can review it.

 

I burst out laughing this time as well. Ah, please note that I am merely using “burst out laughing” as a figure of speech. Though it sounds rather vulgar, I simply couldn’t think of any other suitable expression.

 

Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Kohaku, Madara, Tsukasa, Ibara, Anzu

 

 

Kohaku: “-Double Face’s~♪”

 

Madara: “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles~! Yaaa~y, clap clap clap clap ✰”

 

Kohaku: “Hey, why’s it so unclear if this program is about MaM or about Double Face!?”

 

Madara: “And there we have it, what you just heard was a classically sharp straight man comment from Kohaku-san ♪ Well then, J, how would you rate that reaction on a scale from 1 through 100?”

 

“Hmmm. J is raising his cute little fingers - one, two three… He put up eight fingers, which means that you get zero points! Kohaku Oukawa, you’re disqualified~!”

 

Kohaku: “Since when was this an exam!? And ‘sides, why does eight fingers equal zero points? Don’t go abusin’ the fact that J doesn’t speak ta randomly make up shit, ya rotten idiot!?”

 

Tsukasa: …With that choice of words it is hard to believe this is supposed to be a parenting program.

 

Ibara: That gap is this show’s main selling point!

 

The exhilaration and tension created by pulling off statements that would never be aired on regular programs is the best entertainment there is!

 

In fact, many of the current programs targeting housewives are filled with similar taboos!

 

People say not to curse in front of your children! They say that parents should never complain about parenting, they should uphold a saintly image!

 

This show - “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles” aims to stick its hands into that built-up pile of parents’ good intentions and bring to light the truth of the matter!

 

It is a very meaningful program! Salute~!

 

Tsukasa: It’s almost definitely gonna get flamed online.

 

Ibara: I would hope so! That is exactly the aim of this project, after all!

 

From the very beginning, my plan was never to make a profit off of this program!

 

I will have plenty of recompensation once J-san has inherited GFK’s fortune ♪

 

Besides, though I worked out the details of this plan myself alongside Anzu-san, the ones responsible for creating this program are not CosPro, but rather the agency “Double Face” belongs to, NewDi.

 

Which means that this is a chance for me to try out things I normally would never dare to do, all without having to take any responsibility for it. There is no profit to be had, but also no loss. It’s the ultimate entertainment for killing time.

 

Tsukasa: Sigh, once again our agency is being casually pushed into poverty.

 

Since there is no other way to protect J-san, and because both Mikejima-senpai and Oukawa want to do this, I can neither deny nor reject this project, however.

 

We did make enough money off of SS that we can afford to keep this charade up, especially since our agency is rather small and yet famous. 

 

Ibara: Indeed! For my part I am more than satisfied to be able to make an interesting program using someone else’s money!

 

Even though us at CosPro tend to end up in the role of the villain, even we can’t usually go around doing things like this.

 

Something like making a program to trivialize and make fun of parenting programs, that is.

 

Tsukasa: So you admit you are making fun of them.

 

Ibara: I was always going to.

 

Let’s thoroughly make fun of and sneer at those silly programs that boast about love and kindness.

 

Aah, this feels oh so refreshing!

 

Tsukasa: (Th, this guy has the worst personality. I had heard rumors about this, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.)

 

Ibara: -However, I had not expected this of Mikejima-shi.

 

Tsukasa: ? What are you referring to?

 

Ibara: From the beginning, that person has used the stage name MaM for his idol activities. 

 

He chooses to define himself as “MaM”, Mama. Double Face is supposed to be his other, darker, identity.

 

Tsukasa: I thought the name was a pun on “Mikeji - Ma Ma - dara”, wasn’t it?

 

Ibara: What if that is not the entire story? What if he truly wanted to be able to play the mother role?

 

Could this not be a dream come true for him, though in a way he would never have expected?

 

Yes, I have helped him achieve that dream of his.

 

If idols are the ones to show dreams to the public, then it is the producers who help those idols make their own dreams come true, after all.

 

Really, I have done such a good job! Surely you feel the same way, Anzu-san?

 

Tsukasa: Fufu. It seems like Anzu-onee-sama is starting to wonder if we may have gone a bit too far… she seems a little regretful after all this time.

 

Onee-sama has a lot of complicated feelings for Mikejima-senpai, after all. It seems you bent the rules a bit because of that.

 

Usually you would never have taken this big of a risk, onee-sama.

 

Ibara: However, it is too late to regret anything at this point. The dice has already been thrown.

 

This unbelievably vulgar parenting show - “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles” - will start attracting attention, either better or for worse. Well, I am nearly 100% certain it will be for worse.

 

Season: Winter
 

Writer: Akira
 

Characters: Ibara, Madara, Kohaku, Tsukasa

-

 

 

Ibara: -I see. I understand completely.

 

This is beyond my powers.

 

The documentary program set in the Maizuru House showed that J-san was sorted into the “Kaiju Group”, consisting mostly of problem children.

 

I now understand perfectly how that came to be.

 

What is up with this shitty monster kid.

 

Kohaku: Aaaa! Don’t do that, J! If ya nibble on that, ya’ll get shocked!

 

Tsukasa: That’s right, J-san! Don't put that into your mouth, it's unsanitary! Please stick your tongue out for me, say “mlep”!

 

Kohaku: Shut yer mouth! The stuff yer sayin’ is weirdly incorrect and confusin’! This ain’t a sanitary problem, it’s that if he keeps nibblin’ on that power cord, he’ll be in danger, alright!?

 

Tsukasa: He is just like an untrained dog… J-san, I thought you were a good and quiet kid. This is a bit of a Shock for me.

 

Madara: Hahaha. He gave me a pretty hard time when I was at Maizuru House as well.

 

Ibara: I’d actually like to know just how Mikejima-shi was able to tame this viscous beast?

 

Madara: Ah, as expected, the program chose to omit those circumstances. Just watching the show would probably leave you with the impression that J is just a normal kid you could find anywhere.

 

But in reality, as is evident, he is a supermonster who indiscriminately destroys all that comes near him.

 

It seems like he respects me, or maybe is afraid of me, so whenever I’m closeby he becomes as quiet as a mech with its power cord plugged out.

 

Kohaku: Could ya stop watchin’ with that blank look on yer face and help us stop J!? J refuses ta listen to anything except what ya tell him!

 

Madara: Sounds like a drag. Just when I finally thought I had found someone I could entrust this troublesome child to.

 

Tsukasa: Uhyaa, J-san is somehow taking his rampaging skills to new levels!?

 

Kohaku: Ah~ah~ah~, he’s just ‘bout old enough ta understand what other people are sayin’. I bet he overhead what Madara-han said, and is showin’ how much he hates that idea.

 

Seems that J doesn’t want ta be separated from Madara-han.

 

Madara: He’s such a spoiled kid, isn’t he? Here, here, it’s alright. I’m not going anywhere, at least not yet.

 

Kohaku: Can’t ya reassure him a lil’ and tell ‘im ya would never leave ‘im? Even if it’s a lie?

 

Madara: I will leave him at some point though. And since it seems like J trusts me, wouldn’t he just get sad if I ended up telling him lies?

 

Tsukasa: Ah… J, J-san just stopped moving all of a sudden. Thanks to Mikejima-senpai coming closer, he must have felt relieved. 

 

Kohaku: Madara-han is like kryptonite for J. Or maybe he’s more like a grenade’s pin.

 

Madara: It’s accidental from my side though. When J is like this, I can’t exactly leave him at a police station or anything, and I have to stay by his side twenty-four seven, even while he’s in the bath or sleeping. It’s pretty hard, you know.

 

If I move away even a little, or even just seem as if I’m leaving him, he explodes just like how you saw.

 

He should be too old for this behavior, it’s almost like I’m taking care of a baby rather than a child.

 

Ibara: That might be an apt analogy. J-san is being targeted. If we take our eyes off him for even a second, there is no telling what kinds of danger he could be exposed to.

 

That does make him similar to a baby, in that taking your eyes off him for even the slightest moment can lead to his life being in danger.

 

Additionally, if you leave him unattended, he immediately starts bawling and attracting attention from his surroundings. To keep such a child safe must be a rather proving task.

 

I have neither the patience nor the time to complete such a bothersome mission. I also lack any obligation to.

 

The fortune J-san is set to inherit from GFK is mesmerizing in and of itself, to be sure. However, if it is merely money then I will sooner or later be able to earn that much on my own without having to go through this amount of trouble for it. 

 

Which is why I am retracting my offer to become J-san’s guardian. Please continue taking care of this child as you have up until now, Mikejima-shi.

 

Madara: …How weirdly considerate of you. I thought you would keep arguing with me for a bit longer.

 

Well then, is everything thus far proceeding according to your hypothesis?

 

Ibara: I wonder. I was planning on actually securing J-san into my own hands if he had been a quiet kid who didn’t need too much attention. 

 

This child is an incomparable treasure, but he is also simultaneously a ticking bomb whom many villains will be coming for. To care for this child is to take on a huge amount of risk.

 

I have other important jobs to attend to, and cannot afford to become occupied with such a dangerous task.

 

You have much more time on your hands, so I will leave it to you, Mikejima-shi.



-

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Tsukasa: Hm.

 

I understand. As expected, there are signs of suspicious people running surveillance of the mansion during the night.

 

No, that's fine. If possible, I would have liked to capture that person.

 

However, there was also the possibility that it was a diversion, so there was no reason to go as far as to lighten security to pursue him. 

 

You made the right decision. I'll make sure to report to my father that the mansion's security guards are excellent. 

 

Yes. Please continue keeping track of the situation until further notice.

 

Please stay alert going forwards as well. I'm counting on you.

 

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪︎ Yer actin’ awful much like a real Lord there, bon.

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa. You’re up early, you should have taken the chance to rest properly.

 

Kohaku: It’s because I was sleepin’ in a different bed than usual. I’m surprisingly delicate like that. Also, this situation doesn’t really allow for relaxin’.

 

I’m sure that security guard ya were speakin’ with on the phone is excellent in his own way. But these security guards are peace-lovin’ fools. 

 

If it was us Oukawas guardin’ this place, we could’ve easily outsmarted any enemy. If ya don’t believe me, I’ll be more than happy to prove it to ya. It’ll make for a good work-out before breakfast.

 

Tsukasa: Please don’t create extra work for our employees. I am in no way doubtful of your ability.

 

I also am not naive enough to suggest that our security system is perfect. I’m sure that from your point of view, it’s rather lacking. 

 

However. The enemies who want to kidnap J-san are aiming to brainwash him into giving them this GFK’s fortune.

 

Accordingly, I reasoned it is unlikely any of them would resort to physically injuring J-san in any way that would make his impression of them worsen. 

 

Kohaku: And because of that, ya reckoned that even the ragtag security system at the Suou mansion would be good enough ta protect J for this one night?

 

Tsukasa: It should be enough for now. As long as the only threat are singular kidnapper-wannabes, our security system should be enough to deal with it.

 

However, if the enemies were to get impatient and group up to attack us, then I fear that the current security system would not be enough.

 

Which is why. If possible, I would like you to summon your family and ask them for help in guarding J-san.

 

Kohaku: Are ya suggestin’ this because my family helpin’ out here would help fill the chasm between the main family and the branch family, is that it?

 

Tsukasa: Yes. While I personally no longer care to discriminate against the Oukawa family, not everyone is able to change their mind as quickly as me.

 

The amount of distrust and misunderstandings that has gathered across many years between our families can only be removed painstakingly slowly over an equally long time.

 

For now, I am moving towards that goal one step at a time.

 

For the sake of the blissful future I know will come.

 

Kohaku: …You’ve grown up, bon.

 

Tsukasa: Fufun. I’m in front of you, after all, I’m just trying to look cool.

 

“I” want to be proud that “I” have become the kind of person who can move people around, and not just ants.*

 

Madara: Gooooood mooooorning✰

 

Tsukasa: Uhhyah!? P, please don’t surprise me like that Mikejima-senpai!

 

Madara: Sorry, sorry! Even I didn’t want to interrupt the two of you when you were having such a lovely conversation, but-

 

We might be facing somewhat of an emergency, you see… Look, can you see dust clouds rising over there?

 

Tsukasa: Hm. I can’t see very well from here because the fence gets in the way. I’m rather confident in my eyesight thanks to my archery practice, too.

 

Kohaku: Wait a sec’, I’m comin’ over there.

 

Tsukasa: (Ooh… Oukawa used the rain gutters to climb on top of the roof in an instant. He’s like a ninja.)

 

(No, maybe assassin would be more fitting. Even with all those flashy moves, he didn’t make a sound.)

 

Madara: Welcome~♪

 

Kohaku: Right. Ya shouldn’t be climbin’ onto roofs without askin’ permission from the owner first, that’s rude. And with yer body size, ya might make holes in it.

 

Madara: I’m being careful to avoid that, and besides, you’re being just as rude as I am, no?

 

Tsukasa: (Mikejima-senpai isn’t surprised by Oukawa’s movements in the slightest, huh.)

 

(That makes me feel a little upset.) 

 

(To Mikejima-senpai, this version of Oukawa is the normal one, while the version of Oukawa I’m used to, that lovely version of him, is an unusual sight.)

 

(That somehow makes me very, very, extremely envious.)

 

Kohaku: -Bon!

 

Tsukasa: Whaa? Uhm, yes, what is it, Oukawa? Did something happen?

 

Kohaku: Tell yer security guards ta brace themselves! A black luxury car that looks like it came straight outta some yakuza drama is comin’ closer!

 

That’s what’s makin’ clouds of dust in the distance!

 

Tsukasa: D, does this mean we are under attack!?

 

Madara: I wonder. Recently, the laws have been getting stricter, so the number of gangs who are still driving around in cars like that should have decreased. 

 

Standing out like that would just make the police notice them, which is troublesome, after all.

 

Kohaku: Is that so. I have undergone training in the arts of war, but since I don’t have any hands-on experience in these types o’ conflicts I have no idea what the status quo is.

 

Madara: Yup. Though real gangsters care a lot about looking tough, so my mom told me that the truly dangerous yakuza will still look and act the part in spite of the law.

 

Kohaku: I wouldn’t know. Then, which type of yakuza do ya think is approachin’ us in that car?

 

Madara: I wonder. I can’t see the logic behind launching an attack with just one car.

 

Kohaku: No matter what it is, we oughtta get prepared ta escape just in case. Bon, could ya prepare a car?

 

Tsukasa: Ah, yes, I will ask our driver!

 

Madara: I drove here on my bike, so if worst comes to worst I’ll escape on that.

 

Kohaku: A bike might be good for takin’ sudden turns and stuff.

 

…Wait, I just realized, but where is J exactly? It would just be a waste if we all escaped without ‘im, right?

 

Madara: J is right here. Look, it seems like he’s gotten fond of my back.

 

Kohaku: Oh~. It’s true, when I look closer J is really hangin’ on to Madara-han’s back. He almost looks like some bug or yokai.

 

Madara: He would be the Konaki-jiji then.** Though this kid never cries. 

 

Tsukasa: Th, the car is coming closer and closer! What should we do? If we are escaping, then please come down from the roof so we can head towards the parking-

 

Madara: -No, I don’t think that will be necessary.

 

I did think the car looked somehow familiar. Kohaku-san, look who is in the back seat.

 

Kohaku: Hm… Aah, that is!?



-

TL-notes:
* - Tsukasa usually uses the "watashi" personal pronoun, but in this line he reverts to using the "boku" pronoun to mimick how he spoke when he used to play with Kohaku as a child.
** - Name of a Japanese yokai which is usually depicted as a crying, small, old man or a baby.

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Tsukasa: (F, for now, we decided that Mikejima-senpai and Oukawa would both spend the night at my house.)

 

(I was planning on protecting Oukawa here from the beginning, so we have a solid security system set up already.)

 

(Even amongst our servants, only the most trusted ones are allowed entry at this moment.)

 

(Unlike servants at new money households, our servants are descendants of retainer families who have served our family for generations.)

 

(Betrayal or failure used to lead to immediate infamy or even death for the retainer families.)

 

(It’s unlikely any of our servants would betray us for something like self-preservation.)

 

(Though this predicament does offer a tempting enough fruit that some may chose to ignore their ancestral lineage.)

 

(But this isn’t the Sengoku era, when people of low status would use military might to overthrow their lords.)

 

(Samurai customs may not be commonly applicable in the current era, but it is still used within reason to prevent rebellion and the like.)

 

(Such outdated, archaic customs are protecting us right now.)

 

(Of course, one can never be absolutely safe. But for now, I have no choice but to stubbornly lay my trust in them.)

 

(I do not wish for Oukawa to leave this house into the cold night, so i have no choice but to insist on my own usefulness.)

 

(Just like how you won’t let anyone interfere with your freedom, neither will I, Oukawa.)

 

Kohaku: Sessesse~no, yoiyoiyoi* ♪

 

Madara: Succharaka ♪ Succharaka ♪ Hoihoiho~i♪

 

Tsukasa: …I’m trying to be seriously worried over here, could the two of you please stop playing around?

 

Kohaku: Oh? Sorry ‘bout that, bon. J was lookin’ all bored, so since we’re spendin’ the night ‘n all I thought we might as well make use of those toys ya had gathered for me.

 

Are we bein’ too noisy since it’s so late at night?

 

Tsukasa: Not really. There are no other houses close to our house, so you won’t bother any neighbors.

 

However. You said J-san wanted to play, but is this J-san even in the room with us right now?

 

Kohaku: Yes, look, J is over there.

 

Tsukasa: Ah, it’s true. I couldn’t see him since he was hiding behind Mikejima-senpai.

 

Kohaku: He sure is a small kid, after all. Seems he hasn’t been raised in a very good environment, his growth seems stunted compared ta others his age.

 

Madara: That’s probably true. GFK refused to sympathize with anyone except himself.

 

Not even his own son.

 

Well, that’s one thing I can relate to J about. 

 

Kohaku: Do ya have ta keep bringin’ up yer shitty parents ever time ya speak? It’s gettin’ annoyin’.

 

Tsukasa: Did J-san, was he being abused, by his parents…?

 

Madara: Nothing seems to suggest that. I checked just to be sure when helping him bathe earlier, and he was clean from top to toe, not a mark on his skin.

 

Kohaku: Right. I was afraid ta leave Madara-han alone to take care of the kid since he might end up playin’ too rough an’ hurtin’ him, so I helped out with the bath as well.

 

And he really had beautiful skin, it was so clear.

 

Still, he does seem a bit too skinny to me. Wasn’t GFK supposed ta be stupidly rich after inheritin’ Godfather’s fortune?

 

Then why does his child look like he ain’t ever had a proper meal in his life-

 

Madara: GFK had a bad habit of investing his financial power and influence only into things that intrigued him. He would nurture his investments until the time came to harvest and make them his own.

 

He lived his life in a paradise of his own creation, surrounded by such things he had invested in.

 

For better or for worse, it seems J did not manage to catch GFK’s eye in such a way.

 

It seems J’s mother and GFK hated each other, so they lived separately.

 

GFK probably disliked J for being born from the woman he hated, he might’ve felt disgusted just by looking at him.

 

Which is why once J’s mother passed away, GFK had his own flesh and blood, J, thrown into an orphanage, as if he was throwing away a garbage bag.

 

Kohaku: It’s like a badly written villain origin story.

 

Madara: GFK’s malice was bottomless. It really was for the best that we erased him… After throwing J away, GFK erased any information about it, as if trying to forget all about it himself.

 

He even made his relatives promise to stay silent. He tried making J’s very existence null and void.

 

Thanks to that, it took a whole while before it became clear that GFK even had a son.

 

Ibara-san and the others were surely planning to plunder GFK’s entire inheritance themselves, but then they found that a rightful heir existed-

 

That must have been an unforeseen turn of events, I’ll bet. They’re probably still panicking over it. Hahaha.

 

Kohaku: I don’t really care ‘bout that side o’ things. I don’t care ‘bout how anyone tries ta make money off this, the most important thing fer me is what J wants his future ta look like.

 

Tsukasa: Actually, I can’t help but wonder, how exactly did Mikejima-senpai learn of J-san’s existence?

 

Or rather, why are you dragging J-san around like this?

 

Madara: “Dragging around” makes me sound so bad.

 

Kohaku: As I thought, ya really did kidnap ‘im from somewhere, didn’t ya? Confess already!

 

Tsukasa: Ah… As I recall, there was a rumor at Yumenosaki that Mikejima-senpai would go around casually kidnapping people and forcing them to help him out with work. 

 

Madara: What are you on about… I’m not like your Izumi-san or anything, I would never kidnap anyone or hold them captive.

 

Tsukasa: I, it’s true that Sena-senpai sometimes does step Out of line every now and then, but if you look at it holistically, he should be mostly Safe!

 

Kohaku: That reminds me, I was held captive by Knights once as well… Wow, Knights are really synonymous with kidnapping, huh.

 

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: Uh, uhm. Here, have some tea. 

 

Madara: I’m grateful! You see, I dashed all the way over here at the speed of Mitsuru-san*, so my throat is absolutely parched! You’re a lifesaver, you’re so good at being considerate, Tsukasa-san!

 

Tsukasa: No, this is just normal hospitality.

 

Rather than that. That child over there, the one you said was our Oukawa’s and your child-

 

Madara: Aah, that was just a joke I said for heck of it.

 

It used to come up a lot in old daytime TV dramas, the scenario where one character shows up and is like “This is your child! Take it!”, you know♪

 

Tsukasa: Eh? Eh? It was… a joke? Wh, wh, why would you tell a lie like that!?

 

Madara: Sorry, sorry. Actually, I wasn’t expecting you to get so upset over it. I got a little carried away with amusement and missed my chance to correct myself.

 

Tsukasa: I, I… My head was filled with worried thoughts about how Oukawa ought to take responsibility for the child, as well as about how his future would be affected by this.

 

Madara: What a serious child you are. Doesn’t it get exhausting living like that?

 

Tsukasa: B, being serious actually comes easy for me.

 

Kohaku: It’s not even possible fer two guys to have a child together, bon. Ya should’ve realized he was jokin’ sooner.

 

Tsukasa: When you are too flustered, things like common sense are surprisingly hard to remember…

 

Kohaku: That’s true. Really, though, what exactly is that kid? Whose kid is it?

 

Seems he’s stuck to Madara like white on rice… I can’t remember ya havin’ any younger brothers, is he a relative’s kid? If so, he sure doesn’t resemble ya at all?

 

Actually, he hasn’t been makin’ any sound fer a while now, is he sleepin’ or somethin’? Or not, he just blinked.

 

Tsukasa: What a well-behaved child… He’s not moving at all, he almost looks like a doll.

 

Madara: This situation would be a lot less complicated if this thing was just some doll.

 

Kohaku: Don’t call livin’ humans “things”. 

 

I have no idea what this situation is supposed ta be, but please tell us what’s up with the kid already. Explain it nice and clear, without bein’ weird about it.

 

If yer in trouble, I’ll at least help ya out.

 

? Why are ya stayin’ silent? Is there somethin’ ya can’t tell me about?

 

If ya won’t tell me anythin’ there’s no way I’ll be able to help ya out, ya know?

 

Madara: No, it’s just something I’d rather not mention in front of Tsukasa-san.

 

Tsukasa: Oh, if so, then I’ll excuse myself.

 

Please take your time.

 

Madara: When you say that, I’m almost expecting you to go into the neighboring room and listen in on us.

 

Tsukasa: I, I, I would never do such an underhanded thing!?

 

Madara: Hahaha. Well, it’s not like I’ll be able to hide this forever, and I will probably need your help if I want to protect this kid either way-

 

You said this yourself, but you are also connected to Double Face. You have the right to, or rather, the duty to know about this.

 

-This child is the seed of the man we knew as GFK.

 

Kohaku: He’s the son of that GFK?

 

Madara: Yes. He does have a proper name as well, but it seems he doesn’t like being called by that. So for now, let’s call him J. Since he is GFK Junior.

 

Kohaku: He sure doesn’t look like a J. His face looks almost stereotypically Japanese.

 

Tsukasa: It seems he likes that nickname. Look, when Mikejima-senpai said J, he reacts all happily.

 

J-san, J-san. Nice to meet you, please call me Tsukasa-onii-sama. Do you want any sweets?

 

Kohaku: Yer unexpectedly fond of kids, huh, bon?

 

Tsukasa: I like well-behaved children. I see noisy children as on the same level as animals, so I don’t do very well with them.