rubestie

Season: Winter

Writer: Akira

Characters: Kohaku, Madara, Tsukasa, Ibara, Anzu

<The day after. Inside Estele (A TV station located near ES), during filming for “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”>

Kohaku: “-Double Face’s~♪”

kohaku+madara

Madara: “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles~! Yaaa~y, clap clap clap clap ✰”

Kohaku: “Hey, why’s it so unclear if this program is about MaM or about Double Face!?”

Madara: “And there we have it, what you just heard was a classically sharp straight man comment from Kohaku-san ♪ Well then, J, how would you rate that reaction on a scale from 1 through 100?”

“Hmmm. J is raising his cute little fingers - one, two three… He put up eight fingers, which means that you get zero points! Kohaku Oukawa, you’re disqualified~!”

Kohaku: “Since when was this an exam!? And ‘sides, why does eight fingers equal zero points? Don’t go abusin’ the fact that J doesn’t speak ta randomly make up shit, ya rotten idiot!?”

tsukasa

Tsukasa: …With that choice of words it is hard to believe this is supposed to be a parenting program.

Ibara: That gap is this show’s main selling point!

The exhilaration and tension created by pulling off statements that would never be aired on regular programs is the best entertainment there is!

In fact, many of the current programs targeting housewives are filled with similar taboos!

People say not to curse in front of your children! They say that parents should never complain about parenting, they should uphold a saintly image!

This show - “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles” aims to stick its hands into that built-up pile of parents’ good intentions and bring to light the truth of the matter!

It is a very meaningful program! Salute~!

Tsukasa: It’s almost definitely gonna get flamed online.

Ibara: I would hope so! That is exactly the aim of this project, after all!

From the very beginning, my plan was never to make a profit off of this program!

I will have plenty of recompensation once J-san has inherited GFK’s fortune ♪

Besides, though I worked out the details of this plan myself alongside Anzu-san, the ones responsible for creating this program are not CosPro, but rather the agency “Double Face” belongs to, NewDi.

Which means that this is a chance for me to try out things I normally would never dare to do, all without having to take any responsibility for it. There is no profit to be had, but also no loss. It’s the ultimate entertainment for killing time.

Tsukasa: Sigh, once again our agency is being casually pushed into poverty.

Since there is no other way to protect J-san, and because both Mikejima-senpai and Oukawa want to do this, I can neither deny nor reject this project, however.

We did make enough money off of SS that we can afford to keep this charade up, especially since our agency is rather small and yet famous.

Ibara: Indeed! For my part I am more than satisfied to be able to make an interesting program using someone else’s money!

Even though us at CosPro tend to end up in the role of the villain, even we can’t usually go around doing things like this.

Something like making a program to trivialize and make fun of parenting programs, that is.

Tsukasa: So you admit you are making fun of them.

Ibara: I was always going to.

Let’s thoroughly make fun of and sneer at those silly programs that boast about love and kindness.

Aah, this feels oh so refreshing!

tsukasa+ibara

Tsukasa: (Th, this guy has the worst personality. I had heard rumors about this, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.)

Ibara: -However, I had not expected this of Mikejima-shi.

Tsukasa: ? What are you referring to?

Ibara: From the beginning, that person has used the stage name MaM for his idol activities.

He chooses to define himself as “MaM”, Mama. Double Face is supposed to be his other, darker, identity.

Tsukasa: I thought the name was a pun on “Mikeji - Ma Ma - dara”, wasn’t it?

Ibara: What if that is not the entire story? What if he truly wanted to be able to play the mother role?

Could this not be a dream come true for him, though in a way he would never have expected?

Yes, I have helped him achieve that dream of his.

If idols are the ones to show dreams to the public, then it is the producers who help those idols make their own dreams come true, after all.

Really, I have done such a good job! Surely you feel the same way, Anzu-san?

Tsukasa: Fufu. It seems like Anzu-onee-sama is starting to wonder if we may have gone a bit too far… she seems a little regretful after all this time.

Onee-sama has a lot of complicated feelings for Mikejima-senpai, after all. It seems you bent the rules a bit because of that.

Usually you would never have taken this big of a risk, onee-sama.

Ibara: However, it is too late to regret anything at this point. The dice has already been thrown.

This unbelievably vulgar parenting show - “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles” - will start attracting attention, either better or for worse. Well, I am nearly 100% certain it will be for worse.

And that attention is what is most important.

ibaba