Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Kohaku

 

-

 

Madara: I see. It all makes sense now.

 

Since it’s my little sister we’re talking about, she probably guessed that even if they were to explain J’s feelings to me, I wouldn’t understand. 

 

So they opted to completely deceive us rather than tell us the truth. They decided that it would be quicker to eliminate J and move the situation forward than to persuade me and Kohaku-san into reconciling.

 

This time I’ve really been defeated on all counts… That sister of mine, she really pulled off the perfect crime, even though she had help from J and Kohaku-san’s big sisters.

 

I can imagine how smug she must be now. How annoying.

 

Kohaku: Yup. My big sisters were also pretty mean-spirited…  They must have wanted ta punish me a bit fer never listenin’ to ‘em. 

 

When they fooled us this brilliantly, I can’t exactly complain either. I guess I’m still nowhere near my sisters’ levels yet.

 

And all of this, up until me thinkin’ that about them now, is probably exactly what my big sisters were intendin’.

 

Sigh… They really put me through it this time.

 

Even if we try ta act like villains, or if we go the other route and act like allies of justice, we always just end up dancin’ in the palms of those who are more clever than us.

 

If I’m gonna be forced ta dance either way, I’d at least want ta dance a dance I actually like.

 

This is as good a timin’ as ever, so why don’t we let Double Face stay disbanded? Life as a double agent is just exhaustin’, especially now that I’ve finally gotten outta that stinky prison I was in.

 

I’d like ta walk on a path where the sun can shine on me for a while. It seems many people want that fer me as well. I’m gonna be honest with how I feel without puttin’ on a facade.

 

What will ya do? Ya were able ta take even a peaceful and gentle concept like a parentin’ show and turn it inta somethin’ diabolical.

 

Are ya gonna keep findin’ work that’s MaM-like?

 

Madara: I wonder. Between my work at the Maizuru House and my experience doing something so uncharacteristic of me as parenting this time around, I feel like I’ve done lots of motherly jobs you would associate with the name MaM.

 

Honestly, neither of those jobs really felt comfortable to me. I think I’ll spend some time trying to find something that I really want to do this time.

 

Without being bound by the name MaM, I’d like to do what I really want to do. I feel like I came close to part of that this time.

 

I’m still living through the encore of the childhood I never got to finish experiencing.

 

I guess I’m still in the middle of catching up on the things I couldn’t do as a kid, as well as the things that were left unfinished. 

 

I’m just an overgrown child. It’s still too soon to name myself as a mother (MaM).

 

Kohaku: I see. Well, neither of us is dead yet, so if anythin’ comes up, feel free ta reach out.

 

Even if Double Face is gone, the things we’ve built up together won’t disappear.

 

The bonds that have blossomed between us, the emotions and affection, that is.

 

Ain’t that right, buddy?

 

Madara: Right. Thank you, buddy.

 

I must sound like a broken record by now, but. I really am happy that it was you I met that day in the back alley. The time we’ve spent together is a sparkling treasure to me.

 

Thank you. Life is just a series of goodbyes, but I sincerely look forward to the day when we meet again.

 

Kohaku: Yeah. I’ll be seein’ ya, Madara-han.

 

-Double Face, resignin’ from duty ♪

 

As luck would have it, our retirement fund is huge. We’ll be able ta live life freely fer a while.

 

Madara: Yeah. Before he faked his death, J designated us as the recipients of his inheritance, after all… We have more money than we know what to do with at this point.

 

Kohaku: And since we were saddled with such a huge fortune, chances are we’ll be the ones ta be targeted by evil guys from here on.

 

The amount we gained from this job is enough to easily make people turn down an evil path, after all.

 

But. Double Face, and Crazy:B as well… No, I myself have also hurt lots of people.

 

Fer someone like me ta become a target fer bad guys, that’s just karmic retribution - cause ‘n effect at play.

 

I won’t be able ta walk around alone at night no more. Well, it’s been a long time comin’.

 

Madara: However. Even if this is karma, as you say, I’d rather not spend the rest of my life quaking in fear.

 

It seems like J wants us to have a reward for acting as his guardians, but. We weren’t able to do a very good job, so maybe it would be best to find him and give him his money back.

 

Of course, if that leads to J being targeted by villains again, then we’d be putting the cart before the horse though… Faking his death would become meaningless, so we can’t do something like that without due consideration.

 

Honestly, forcing this huge amount of money onto someone will just leave them unable to function properly.

 

Kohaku: That’s true, but it seems like J changed his appearance, face, and name ta become an entirely different person. Even if we were ta return the money to ‘im, locatin’ him would prove pretty difficult.

 

Madara: Well, let’s smear ourselves with patience then. That kid was talented. Who knows, he might end up debuting as an idol in the future to make use of that talent.

 

If that happens, we might be able to reunite naturally one day. Of course, even if we met such a “promising beginner”, we wouldn’t have any way of knowing that it was J.

 

But just knowing that such a pleasant meeting might be waiting for us in the future is enough to make life just a little more enjoyable.

 

When you think of it like that, then J is definitely an idol to us.

 

Kohaku: We can’t be losin’ ta him then.

 

Madara: Yeah. In order to live up to his expectations, I’ll become a more proper idol, even if just by a little. Enough to make people entertained, to make them happy, to have them love me.

 

Even if that thought was the only thing to come out of Double Face, that still makes our existence and our activities worth it.

 

Eliminating bad guys with violence. There is no value or justice to be gained in that objective. But we were also able to do jobs that would make that tiny fan of ours happy and feel loved.

 

I want to be proud of that accomplishment while continuing to work hard from now on.

 

Hahaha. J really is amazing… Even Anzu-san was never able to make me this enthusiastic about my idol activities.

 

Kohaku: Now that ya mention it, that Anzu-san has been sendin’ us lots of messages.

 

The Double Face account on Hallhands is still active, and requests have been pilin’ up on there.

 

She must want us ta go along with her requests from now on since we got her involved in somethin’ weird this time.

 

It seems she’s prepared lots of work fer ya.

 

Madara: What an inconvenience… Having said that, my heart aches thinking about how much inconvenience I have caused for that girl.

 

I guess I’ll be doing my first gig as the reborn MaM with that girl then.

 

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪ I’ll be supportin’ ya with all my might, it’s a new beginnin’ fer my old partner.

 

-Go get ‘em, Madara-han. 

 

Madara: Yeah. I’ll be going, Kohaku-san.

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Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Kohaku, Madara, Tsukasa

 

-

 

Kohaku: -Well done, Madara-han.

 

I was able ta move about freely thanks to ya drawin’ the enemy’s attention with those exaggerated gestures of yers. I snuck into the helicopter and fiddled with it so it can’t fly no more.

 

I also disabled a~ll of the bombs that were set up in there. My folks really drilled into me information about how ta disarm explosives while I was growin’ up, ya see.

 

Well then, what’s yer next move? I’ll refer ta ya as GFK II. Ya have lost all yer advantages against us, and yer left with no means of escapin’. 

 

Plus. Madara-han firmly secured J, who was yer biggest trump card against us.

 

No, more like we had ta fabricate this exact situation in order ta be able ta deal with ya and save J at the same time.

 

We pretended ta follow all of yer orders while waitin’ patiently fer this moment.

 

 

Now, this is check mate.

 

Yer pretty cunnin’, but it seems yer bad at doin’ evil deeds.

 

The heavens are watchin’. A villain who kidnaps children an’ scares ‘em this badly is due ta receive correspondin’ amounts of divine punishment.

 

Cause and effect-

 

 

Madara: -And karmic retribution!

 

Kohaku: “♪~♪~♪”

 

Madara: “~...♪”

 

“Hahaha! Sorry, sorry, seems I got my legs all twisted up with yours and caused you to fall over, GFK II! It’s the kind of accident that happens every once in a while on an idol stage!”

 

“When you get too absorbed in dancing, you sometimes end up bumping into someone who happened to be nearby!”

 

“What an unbelievably unfortunate accident that the momentum from your fall was enough to make you tumble straight off this rooftop-”

 

Kohaku: “Stay calm! I’ll save ya right now, GFK II! Here ya go, grab onto this long power cord!”

 

Madara: “Ooops, another unfortunate accident! The power cord got tangled up in your legs and now you’re hanging from it in the air!”

 

Kohaku: “Don’t ya move even an inch now, GFK II! If the cord gets untangled, ya’ll be fallin’ headfirst straight into the ground! Ya’ll become as flat as a pancake!”

 

Madara: “We’ll save you right away! Alright, don’t move, don’t move! Or maybe you don’t want our help?”

 

Kohaku: “Hey, hey! Ya should cry ‘n beg for our help!”

 

Madara: “Ah, how I feel for him! But rest assured, even if you get so scared that you piss your pants, your honor will remain intact!”

 

Kohaku: “This footage got way too shockin’ all of a sudden fer us to broadcast it on national television, after all!”

 

“Even if this show is an insane parentin’ program that doesn’t give a shit about broadcastin’ ethics!”

 

Madara: “This accident will become buried in darkness, never to be seen by the innocent public!”

 

Kohaku: “So don’t worry and go ahead and shout! Ya should be relieved that we’re such upstandin’ idols! We always strive ta give the viewers the best experience possible, ya see!”

 

“This kind of awful accident-”

 

Madara: “This kind of unbearable tragedy!”

 

Kohaku: “This shockingly terrifying video is not somethin’ we’d ever want the public ta experience!”

 

Madara: “However! You can’t stop people from gossiping! I’m sure that word of the horrors you’re experiencing right now will suddenly spread throughout the underworld that you are a part of!”

 

“Secretly, but surely, from one villain to the next!”

 

“Enough so that everyone who hears about it will want to avoid meeting with the same misfortune as this episode’s guest - GFK II - did!”

 

Kohaku: “Enough that they’ll all know better than ta try and imitate what GFK II did!”

 

Madara: “Over and over! Let’s keep this horror show that only we know about going a little longer!”

 

Kohaku: “Over and over and over again! We’ll keep at it until ya never want ta do anythin’ this stupid ever again!”

 

“If ya get it, give us yer reply! Ya poor, unfortunate victim who was unlucky enough ta get caught in this unforeseeable accident!”

 

Madara: “No one even invited you to take part in our show! Your first mistake was that you forced your way into appearing on this fun and peaceful parenting program!”

 

Kohaku: “♪~♪~♪”

 

Madara: “~...♪”

 

 

Tsukasa: Wow.

 

Th, things are taking a turn for the outrageous over there… What is this, some scenery out of hell?

 

Right, yes. You are watching the video on your end as well, right, Saegusa-senpai? It seems like Double Face splendidly managed to punish the bad guy.

 

Once this fact spreads, no one should dare to try and imitate the crimes this case’s culprit - GFK II - committed.

 

Of course, when this episode is broadcast, it will be edited to remove the scary parts, and it will be turned into a peaceful episode for the public to enjoy.

 

No. Actually, this entire episode will likely never be broadcast.

 

However. To be suspended from the roof of a luxury hotel and to have his life threatened like this…

 

The horror this criminal is experiencing will become known to the underworld through rumors going from mouth to mouth, darkness to darkness. And thus, anyone planning similar crimes will have to rethink their plans.

 

Having said that. Any more than this would be going too far, so I will hurry over to the scene to restrain them.

 

Even if the enemy is a horrible criminal, and even if we are doing this to save a child-

 

Any further punishment will lead to resentment festering, creating further violence and tragedy.

 

(Oukawa. Do you really understand this fact?)

 

(Of course, I intend to continue being your ally, no matter how much blood you are stained by.)

 

(Karmic retribution, cause and effect. For villains who would hurt others, a suitable punishment is surely waiting. Sinful humans will go to hell, and be impaled on piles of needles.)

 

(I, and your fellow members of the Oukawa family, did not wish your you to go down that path, however.)

 

…

 

…Nn?

 

Ah, yes. I’m sorry, I’m still watching the footage coming in from the scene.

 

As I’m watching it, I can’t help but feel like there is something wrong, though I can’t explain what-

 

…!? This is! Did you notice, Saegusa-senpai!?

 

Yes! I thought something was strange, and now I notice J-san has been nowhere to see for a while! Double Face are too caught up in their punishment against GFK II to notice!

 

I have a bad feeling about this! I have to hurry on over to the scene and inform those two about this!

 

…

 

….Eh?

 

D, did you see that, Saegusa-senpai? My eyes must be deceiving me, surely?

 

J-san is-

 

GFK II suddenly jumped up, grabbed ahold of J-san, and jumped off of the roof.

 

…

 

…How? Did something go wrong?

 

How did things come to this? We were supposed to defeat the villain, save the innocent child from his clutches, and everything was supposed to be over with, right?

 

That was supposed to be the happy ending for this story, right?

 

And yet, how? How could such a tragedy…?

 

I, is this our punishment for doing something so evil as to lynch a man?

 

N, no matter how much I struggle and work hard.

 

Will I never be able to save that child, Oukawa, from the depths of hell? Is that what this means?

 

Please tell me, please reply, Saegusa-senpai.

 

How, why, did things come to this…?



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Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Ibara, Madara

 

 

Ibara: I’ll leave it to you, Suou-shi.

 

All the employees of my private security company, myself included, are being kept away from the filming location.

 

I am currently taking your call at an airport far removed from your location.

 

I chose to stay at the airport so that if something was to happen, I would quickly be able to arrange an airplane and travel to your location.

 

After all, it would be impossible for me to rush straight to the scene in no time like an ally of justice in a tokusatsu show would.

 

Whether or not we can successfully save J-san depends entirely on those of you who are present at the scene.

 

However, Suou-shi, you should avoid moving about carelessly. Originally, you were also supposed to heed the culprit’s demands and stay away from the scene.

 

If you were to be discovered, there is a chance the culprit could enact punishment on us for breaking our promise to him. Additionally, there is no guaranteeing your own safety.

 

It appears that members of the Oukawa family are currently disguised as you, so the culprit shouldn’t be able to easily discover your actual whereabouts. However, we cannot be certain that our plans will succeed.

 

However, it is a great help for us as well if you are able to stay close to the filming site and provide us with information. This case is still awfully suspicious in my eyes.

 

I can’t help but suspect that there is a traitor among us, so I’m grateful to have a trustworthy person like yourself watching the scene for me.

 

Yes. I fear there may be enemies of ours lurking both within my security company as well as within the Oukawa family.

 

J-san’s kidnapping was too unnatural, so I cannot help but suspect even our closest allies. I have no proof, and all of this is simply based on my instincts-

 

However, Suou-shi. Unlike me, you are not a person who tells lies. This is a praiseworthy quality, I regard you as a sincere and honest person who doesn’t scheme or plot. 

 

That is why I can be absolutely certain there is no possibility of you being a traitor.

 

It is important to have one such as you close to the site as my source of information.

 

Yes. Of course, you are free to be as suspicious of me as you’d like.

 

My being at the airport could have been a lie, and I might be hiding close to the filming location and scheming intrigue as we speak.

 

Fufu. That is not possible, you say? And what makes you say that?

 

Yes, you are right.

 

Rather than betraying you now and winning this battle, it would holistically be better to prove myself as your ally now to gain your trust and win the war. 

 

I am a businessman. I make the necessary decisions for my investments. Even if my personality is untrustworthy, you trust my business sense, is that it?

 

Thank you so much, that is the greatest compliment I can receive.

 

Yes. If possible, please keep relying on my business ♪

 

…Oh, there is movement on-scene, you say? Understood. I would appreciate it if you could keep me regularly updated on the situation.

 

Even if I am far removed from the site, I have methods of taking action available. Yes, yes, thank you for everything.

 

Yes. Well then, I’ll excuse myself for now.

 

-Fufu. What an adorable person. It really is a good thing, the sight of a helpless child growing stronger.

 

This is the perfect entertainment. This is exactly why parenting programs and tear-jerking home dramas will always be popular.

 

Even while unconsciously looking down on and ridiculing these helpless children, adults can pretend to be good people when praising their growth.

 

It is the same as keeping small animals as pets while posting videos and making fun of them online. It is a pastime of the privileged to look down at foolishly weak creatures from up high and simultaneously admire them.

 

We hide away our unconscious biases by disguising them as good-natured. Thus we are able to keep consuming entertainment that treats people’s lives as toys while maintaining the lie that we are good people. 

 

Aah, how entertaining! I truly am glad to be such an awful person!

 

 

Madara: -Welcome.

 

So you are the kidnapper, huh.

 

Yeah. We’re in the middle of filming, so I shouldn’t be calling you that. I get it, I get it. I spoke out of reach of the mic just now, so please don’t worry.

 

Yes. The sound of the helicopter you rode here should drown out the sound of our voices anyhow.

 

Hahaha. This is truly a glorious spectacle, huh? So the reason why you went as far as to rent out a luxury hotel rooftop like this is so you could arrive at the scene in that helicopter, is it?

 

And this way, even if we broke our promise and stationed soldiers inside the hotel, it’s no problem for you.

 

Of course, we didn’t break our promise. But like this, the chance of you getting captured before we can complete our “exchange” greatly decreases.

 

Of course, there’s always the danger of sniping rifles, but you’ve attached explosives to your helicopter.

 

If someone tried to shoot you without being careful, it would be a catastrophe. Even if they managed to eliminate you, both me and J would also be blown away in the following explosion. Since we are pretending to be the good guys, there’s no way we would want to cause such a tragedy.

 

That’s your reasoning behind this, isn’t it, uhm, what exactly should I call you?

 

Since it seems like you are GFK’s successor, why don’t I call you GFK II?

 

Yeah. Of course I’ve done some research into you.

 

You gave us your name without trying to hide anything, after all. Heading to the meeting spot without doing any research on the other party would just be foolish.

 

A child’s life is at stake here. It’s a given that we’d prepare ourselves as well as possible.

 

There is no blood connection between you and GFK. You were simply picked up by GFK and entrusted one of the companies he managed. You were mere strangers.

 

You should have been satisfied just with taking over that company. But you are as greedy as GFK was, so you ended up wanting more.

 

And that’s how you came to target J, who was set to inherit GFK’s fortune.

 

Even though the underworld tried putting a lid on all of this, your greed made you go and open that lid in search of money, huh?

 

What really takes the cake, though, is that our culprit ended up being some weirdo whose name was never even mentioned until now.

 

It’s too boring to be featured in any sort of story, but I guess there’s an element of realism to all of this.

 

You want money. Yup, that’s a motive everyone can accept.

 

Actually, it came as a relief to me. If your goal had been to enact revenge on us for erasing GFK, then there would have been no reason for you to keep J alive.

 

But since you’re only after the inheritance, you couldn’t let the recipient of that inheritance - J - die. At least not for now.

 

Ah, it’s okay. Rest assured. We will meet your demands fully. At the very least I have absolutely no interest in GFK’s fortune.

 

The only thing I care about is J’s life. If you will give him back to us, then we will give you all the money you could want.

 

However. If you went back on your promise and we find even a single scratch on J’s skin.

 

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you would leave here alive.
 

Yes. All right, it seems you’ve brought J here as promised. He seems to be restrained so he can’t move, but I can see his usual energetic self inside of the helicopter.

 

You must’ve had a hard time dealing with that kid. After all, he might look all cute on the outside, but on the inside, he is a proper monster.

 

You’d have to be on our level to be able to handle someone like him.

 

You’ve probably had that lesson drilled into you by now, so why don’t you try reconsidering this plan of yours? You don’t feel like it? Hmm?



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Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Ibara, Tsukasa, Kohaku

 

 

Madara: I tried asking my sister for information.

 

She wasn’t able to provide much valuable information, though. She claims she caught the cold that’s been going around, so she was sent to the same hospital as J for a check-up.

 

Once she heard that J was in the same hospital, she apparently went by his hospital room to say hello.

 

She was acquainted with J already, so this far her story checks out.

 

Once she got to J’s room, she ran into the kidnapper, who forcefully tied her up and left her under the futon.

 

Tsukasa: That’s some awful timing and luck there. 

 

Madara: Almost suspiciously bad. It’s also puzzling that my sister was sent all the way to that hospital from her rehabilitation center just for a check-up. 

 

Apparently she had left her rehab center because she got permission to come attend a Ra*bits live, since she has become a big fan of theirs lately.

 

She then caught the cold from the crowd while at that live. And that’s why she came to that hospital, which was close to the live venue, to be examined. 

 

Tsukasa: It makes sense to me. Whatever are you suspicious about, Mikejima-senpai?

 

Madara: Tsukasa-san doesn’t know how black-hearted my sister can be, after all… She usually only becomes proactive like this when she’s plotting something bad-natured. 

 

Tsukasa: You should try to trust your sister a little more. You are family, no?

 

Madara: Pointing out that she's related to me is actually just providing another reason to be suspicious of her, you know?

 

Ibara: So Mikejima-shi is suspicious of his sister, is that so?

 

Madara: There are no other suspects available. I can’t wrap my head around how the bad guys suddenly showed up out of nowhere when we haven’t heard anything from them ever since the show became popular.

 

Kohaku: Ain’t that because the bad guys heard I was leavin’ the show and thought they could kidnap J now that the protection surroundin’ him was lighter?

 

Madara: Our falling out should have eliminated the “anxiety” plaguing the people of the underworld, though.

 

All the less reason for that faction of people to go out of their way and risk their skins to kidnap J.

 

Simultaneously, J’s rise in fame meant there was less reason for people not related to the underworld to risk going after him.

 

We created that show so he would gain fame to increase his safety, after all.

 

Kohaku: That way, even if someone kidnapped J and brainwashed ‘im ta give them the inheritance, the loads of people who watch the show would notice the unnaturalness of the situation.

 

The public’s suspicions would lead the authorities ta launch an investigation, and the culprit would likely be destroyed.

 

That was all part of our plans, after all. I see, when ya consider all of that-

 

It should be impossible fer there ta be any villains targetin’ J at this timin’.

 

Of course, there are always idiots who don’t think things through before actin’, but this crime is too well thought out fer the culprit ta be some common idiot.

 

Tsukasa: Hm. When you put it that way, the case certainly becomes illogical. Too many facts don’t match up, and the culprit’s actions make no sense.

 

Ibara: That being said, there is also no reason for Mikejima-shi’s sister to want to kidnap J-san.

 

Kohaku: I agree with ya on that. My eldest sister is skilled at interrogatin’, so I asked her ta help us talk ta Maguro-han just in case.

 

And based on what my sister said, Maguro-han is innocent. She shouldn’t’ve been able ta lie well enough ta deceive my sister.

 

Madara: Still though. If my sister didn’t do it, then who exactly could have kidnapped J?

 

Ibara: Well. In cases like this, we have no other course of action available to us except waiting patiently for the kidnapper to contact us.

 

If the culprit is aiming for J’s inheritance from GFK, then there is no reason for them to contact us, however.

 

They could just keep J-san hidden somewhere and take their time to brainwash him, after all.

 

Tsukasa: Wouldn’t brainwashing be pointless now that the public is able to notice if J-san starts acting unnaturally?

 

Ibara: Indeed. This is just speculation, but it might be that the culprits of this case have managed to find a way to circumvent that problem.

 

-Oops, excuse me. I have a call on my work phone. You’ll have to forgive me, but even with the situation as it is, I cannot afford to neglect my normal responsibilities.

 

Kohaku: Ah, it’s fine. There’s nothin’ ya can do ta help right now, so ya should focus on yer job.

 

Madara: That’s true. It can’t be helped, Ibara-san is a very busy businessman after all.

 

Ibara: I can feel a certain amount of sarcasm flowing through your words…

 

I would appreciate it if you all could understand that having J-san kidnapped while under my protection has hurt my pride considerably.

 

Well, I’ll let it slide. As punishment for being unable to fulfill the duties expected of me in this case, I’ll gracefully allow you to take out your anger at me.

 

-Ah, yes. Hello. Sorry to keep you waiting.

 

…Huh?

 

Is this a joke? Are you serious?

 

Kohaku: D, did somethin’ happen? They say that misfortune seldom comes alone, after all, did somethin’ more go wrong?

 

Ibara: -That was the kidnapper on the phone just now.

 

Kohaku: Aah?

 

Madara: Wh, what are you saying? Did they call to demand a ransom or something?

 

Ibara: No. This is honestly entirely baffling.

 

It seems the kidnapper wants for you, Double Face, to appear on a “certain program”.

 

Kohaku: Wh, what’s that supposed ta mean… Double Face is supposed ta have announced our disbandment ta the public, so why on earth’s this person callin’ ta ask us ta appear on a show?

 

And what’s more, the kidnapper’s the one askin’? What does all this mean, really?

 

Ibara: Please quiet down. I’ll ask for more details.

 

Ah… I see, I see.

 

It appears that our current enemy is a much more intelligent criminal than we had expected… I would’ve never guessed they would try something like this.

 

Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Ibara, Madara

 

 

Ibara: I just received a reply from Suou-shi. It seems he is heading here immediately with Oukawa-shi.

 

I was having trouble reaching Oukawa-shi. As you predicted, however, it seems he was being taken care of at Suou-shi’s home-

 

Madara: …

 

Ibara: Mikejima-shi? Are you listening? Hello, he~llo?

 

Madara: Aah… right, sorry about that.

 

I should have been the one to make arrangements at the hospital and reach out to the people involved in the project, but you took care of it for me. You've been really helpful, thank you for that.

 

Ibara: Oh, I was simply doing what I do best.
 

You lot tend to forget all about those common-sense tasks, so as long as I am there to fill that gap, you will appreciate me - I’ll be sought after.

 

It’s all just part of my sales pitch.

 

Besides. Even though I haven’t added my name to the credits, I am acting as the producer for “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”.

 

As the one responsible, I will take care of what needs to be done. Unlike the people you are used to at Yumenosaki Academy, I never leave everything to the idols on-set.

 

But wow, I was really surprised back then. To think that J-san would collapse after the shoot finished.

 

Madara: In hindsight, it was bound to happen. I wasn’t careful enough.

 

J is still a child, he hasn’t grown to the point where he can work nonstop like this.

 

Even though he learned the basics of being an idol at the Maizuru House, he was fundamentally no different from any ordinary kid living a normal life.

 

As a performer, he was still a complete beginner. And we forced that child to do heavy labor that would be tough even for adults. Twice a week, we would shoot episodes for that weird program.

 

It looked like he was just having fun messing with adults, but the amount of work must have taken a huge toll on both his body and his mind.

 

It’s only natural that he would reach his limit and collapse like this.

 

No. We should have predicted this. How stupid of us, of me.

 

J… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

 

Once again I’ve ended up hurting the one I promised to protect.

 

Ibara: Now, now, don’t be so pessimistic. According to the doctors, J is just ill with a common cold, right?

 

However, since it appears J-san’s consciousness is still rather muddy, they decided to have him stay admitted to the hospital for a couple more days…

 

At the very least, there should be no danger to his life.

 

Madara: Sigh, even though I knew there was a cold going around recently… I neglected to make any precautions, and didn’t even realize when he caught a cold.

 

I’m disqualified to be his guardian.

 

Ibara: N~... I wonder about that.

 

(I can’t help but feel like there is something fishy here. Is this really just a normal cold?)

 

(Since the common cold is going around currently, what if the doctors just went with the most likely explanation they could think of without actually being sure?)

 

(It is a doctor’s job to make a diagnosis, after all. They can’t very well get away with saying that they don’t know what is wrong. They may have tried to cover for themselves by picking a common diagnosis.)

 

(I only caught a quick glimpse of J-san as he was carried to the hospital, but more than a cold, it seemed as if he was-)

 

(H~m, what could it have been? This slight feeling of unease, the uncanniness of the situation.)

 

(They do say truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.)

 

(For all these hardships to fall onto this “family” at this impeccable timing - that is really something you would expect from a drama series.)

 

Either way, we can’t keep being depressed. Let’s do whatever is possible for us to help.

 

Of course, now that our main character J-san has collapsed, we can’t very well keep filming for “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”.

 

It has grown to become a popular program with a cult-like following, so it really is a shame. We created this show as a means to an end, however, so there is no reason to dwell too much on it.

 

What do you want to do? Should we cancel the show? Or should we go on hiatus until J-san is able to return?

 

Personally, I don’t mind either one. Whichever you choose, we will have to make an official announcement stating that intent for all the viewers who are looking forward to the show.

 

Now that Oukawa-shi has left and J-san has collapsed, the best course of action would be for our last surviving regular, Mikejima-shi, to personally make that announcement.

 

If the agency announces it without any of the regulars present, the fans might not accept it, after all.

 

Madara: That’s true… Of course, I’ll cooperate wherever necessary.

 

Rather than simply posting the announcement on social media, it would be better if we posted a short video titled “Important Notice” to let the fans know it’s real.

 

It still hasn’t been long since we posted the special episode announcing Kohaku-san’s retirement, so it might be weird for us to post another one this soon though.

 

Ibara: On the contrary, this could be positive for us. This should make the fans create a fuss over the entire ordeal, which will create an even bigger focus on our show than before. 

 

Talents who can gather attention like this are rather hard to come by, you know.

 

In the beginning, this was our motivation behind incorporating Crazy:B into CosPro as well. Those guys have a valuable talent for creating controversies. 

 

And lately, they’ve become more or less normal idols, and I strangely find myself missing the excitement.

 

They are probably catering to the wishes of their fans, but I personally don’t find it very interesting.

 

In that sense, I was expecting greater things of you two.

 

Madara: What you’re looking for in idols would be more apt in a terrorist organization, I think… So this time you wanted us to charge in with bombs instead of Crazy:B?

 

Ibara: Your wording makes me sound horrible. I merely want to revitalize this stagnating industry.

 

If everyone is a goody-two-shoes then things will be boring, no?

 

Madara: Well, I agree with you on that point. Though, putting us and Crazy:B aside, we probably shouldn’t have forced that kind of role onto J-san, who is still a child.

 

It’s probably too late at this point, but I’ve reflected on it. What occurred this time is all my fault. I’d like to emphasize that when we make our apology to the fans of the show.

 

Kohaku-san and J did nothing wrong. Everything bad that happened came from me.

 

If we phrase it like that, then we can avoid casting dark shadows over Kohaku-san and J’s futures. At the very least, we can keep it to a minimum.

 

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Kohaku, Tsukasa

 

 

Madara: “Madara and J’s~♪”

 

“For the sixth time! “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”~!”

 

Kohaku: … (Silently exits the browser.)

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: Kohaku~n? Let’s try to eat something, okay?

 

Kohaku: …I’ll have somethin' later if I feel like it.

 

Tsukasa: “If I feel like it” won’t cut it. If you don’t eat proper meals, you will fall sick.

 

Kohaku: Actually, why are ya botherin’ me instead of doin’ yer own work?

 

Yer the head of Knights, part of ES’ big three. Yer the head of the Suou family. There must be a mountain of things fer ya to do. 

 

Tsukasa: You are more important than work.

 

I have my priorities straight.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa. I don’t know what happened between you and Mikejima-senpai, but-

 

Kohaku: Nothin’, really. That guy. It’s my loss fer ever gettin’ ta know him, I swear.

 

He said he didn’t need me an’ then he fired me. Who does he think he is, really. Just thinkin’ back ta it is makin’ me angry all over again.

 

Tsukasa: To be fair, a Unit’s Leader does have the authority to expel any Member.

 

Kohaku: What’s that? It’s hard ta hear ya when ya speak in italics like that!

 

Tsukasa: You should study English more. It is known as the lingua franca of the world, after all.

 

Kohaku: Hah, I wasn’t allowed ta go ta school due to my weird family circumstances, ya see.

 

Tsukasa: Oukawa.

 

Kohaku: Wh, what is it? Don’t cling to my back like that. What are ya, some weird yokai or bug?

 

Tsukasa: You’re both smart and kind, I’m sure you realize this yourself.

 

You’re not angry at Mikejima-senpai or your family. You’re angry at yourself for being unable to do anything.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: I’ve been through something similar myself. I didn’t realize I was angry with myself for being powerless, stupid, and unable to do anything, so I took my anger out on those around me.

 

The reason why you weren’t allowed to attend school is because your family feared that you would be targeted by us Suous due to you being the future head of the Oukawas.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Tsukasa: They feared that my grandfather, who wanted to erase the Oukawas, would find your existence as a future clan head to be an eyesore.

 

Your family hid you away to prevent him from learning of your existence.

 

Because they loved you, because they wanted to protect you.

 

Kohaku: …Of course, I know that much. I also realize that my family in the past, and Madara-han of the present, were actin’ based on the same emotions.

 

I know that, but I just can’t accept it.

 

…Bon. J is a lot like me.

 

Tsukasa: Yes.

 

Kohaku: That kid’s existence creates conflict an’ disaster even if he himself doesn’t want that.

 

A parent’s actions affect the kid. And that kid was forced ta carry a heavy burden ever since he was born.

 

I had it much better compared ta him. At least my family loved me. Those feelings came through.

 

Meanwhile. That kid’s father tried ta make it so he never existed, and on top o’ that he mercilessly abandoned his child.

 

Tsukasa: It’s the exact opposite of your family.

 

Kohaku: I feel sorry fer him.

 

Until I came out from my prison and got ta see the wider world, I thought I was the most pitiful person in the world.

 

And yet, I wasn’t even bad off. I didn’t have freedom, but I had love.

 

Meanwhile, J has lived all on his own, without bein’ loved by anyone.

 

He might not realize this himself, but fer a kid like that, Madara-han must’ve been exactly the kinda person he was waitin’ fer.

 

Even if it was just as part of that stupid project where idols played at bein’ staff at the Maizuru House, Madara-han was able ta see J, and reached out ta him. 

 

Ta top it off, Madara-han eliminated the person who abandoned J, the person J probably hated more ‘n anythin’ else.

 

He must’ve looked like a hero in that kid’s eyes.

 

And once rogues aimin’ for his inheritance started movin’ around him, the first thing J did was reach out ta that hero of his.

 

My role in all that was simply ta play the hero’s sidekick. I could easily be replaced.

 

What J wanted was Madara-han, and I was just a bonus. I know that much.

 

I also know that the settin’ where I and Madara-han act as J’s parents ta raise him just serves as fuel fer the underworld’s “anxiety”.

 

But even then. It’s too heartless fer ‘im ta tell me not to get involved with ‘em anymore just ‘cause of that.

 

I get the reasonin’ behind his decision. I even agree with it. But painful things are still painful.

 

My heart’s hurtin’ an’ I feel tired, so I’m lettin’ myself sulk for a bit. That’s all there is. I’ll feel better in time, so I want ya ta leave me alone fer now.



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Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Kohaku

 

 

Madara: There was never any obligation for you to get involved in this mess in the first place.

 

You already have a place where you belong. There’s Tsukasa Suou, whom you are connected to by blood, and there’s Crazy:B, where you as an idol belong.

 

There is no reason why you should have to keep pretending to be J’s parent, as part of Double Face.

 

Kohaku: Even though you were the one who got me involved in the first place-

 

And stop makin’ me repeat myself over ‘n over again. Even if I don’t have any obligations, I have my honor. And my feelings. 

 

J is the son of the GFK we eliminated. It’s our fault that he’s bein’ targeted by all these bad guys.

 

Because of us, GFK’s inheritance became a problem, and now that innocent kid is surrounded by a storm we made.

 

It would be wrong for us, the people who caused that storm, ta walk around nonchalantly as if nothin’ ever happened.

 

I can clean up my own messes. Don’t treat me like a kid, Madara-han.

 

Madara: You’ve done enough. No, more than enough, you’ve done well.

 

You’ve far outdone my expectations, honestly speaking.

 

You were nothing but a stranger to me. We just happened to meet each other back in that dark back alley. We ended up teaming up because our objectives were aligned. 

 

But then. In the spur of the moment, we created that figurehead known as Double Face-

 

That costume felt unexpectedly comfortable to wear, and I ended up missing my chance to take it off. 

 

Aah, I really had fun. Being with you made every day fulfilling.

 

I want you to listen without getting angry. You’re actually very important to me, I love you a lot.

 

Kohaku: ..No one in their right mind would get angry after hearin’ that.

 

Madara: Really? For some reason, people tend to snap every time I show them any affection.

 

Kohaku: Ya must be really bad at showin’ affection then. Ya probably make it sound as if yer jokin’, so people think yer makin’ fun of them and then they get pissed off.

 

Madara: I’m always serious - is what I’d like to say, but that would be a complete lie. Sigh, I learned to be eloquent at socializing, and so my whole life has been filled with deception.

 

Even then. You may not believe me, but what I said just now was the truth.

 

You called me your buddy before.

 

That made me happy, really.

 

Unlike me, you don’t tell stupid, meaningless lies. And that is exactly why that simple, casual show of affection really touched my heart.

 

Thank you, Kohaku-san. I’m glad I met you.

 

I’m so glad it was you I met in that back alley.

 

I really have been blessed.

 

Kohaku: Wh, why are ya sayin’ things that make it sound like yer goin’ ta die soon?

 

Even if I step down from doin’ the program, and even if Double Face gets disbanded, it’s not like this is goodbye forever.

 

Madara: Actually, I don’t plan on ever seeing you again.

 

Kohaku: Huh?

 

Madara: From here on out, MaM will be in charge of “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”, just like the name suggests.

 

I don’t know about Anzu-san, but this is probably what Ibara-san had planned since the beginning.

 

It’s obvious from the program name. You probably weren’t supposed to be involved in this plot at all originally.

 

However, Ibara-san underestimated the bond between me and you. I chose you as my reliable partner, and we tried to protect J together.

 

That must have been an unforeseen situation for Ibara-san. He probably didn’t expect things to pan out that way. That is probably why he spent so uncharacteristically long to find me and J when he first started searching for us. 

 

Kohaku: He didn’t think Double Face were so friendly, ya mean? I get what ya mean, but that wordin’s kinda pissin’ me off. 

 

Madara: Either way, what we’re doing now is simply returning to the original plot. Me and J will be the only regulars on “[MaM]’s Chronicle of Parenting Struggles”, and you will leave the show.

 

We already announced this to the public when we broadcasted that special episode.

 

I will raise J from here on. I alone will stay by his side, to protect and raise him.

 

Kohaku: Do ya really think that’s possible? Get off yer high horse already.

 

Up until now, we supported each other in raisin’ that kid. Even if ya try ta cut me off at this point, I can’t accept that.

 

Madara: Hahaha. Out of context it really does sound like we’re a couple on the verge of divorce who are meaninglessly arguing over custody.

 

Kohaku: Don’t try ta make jokes outta the situation. That’s a bad habit of yers, Madara-han.

 

Try showin’ yer true face fer once. No matter what ya do, it’s not like ya can make me hate ya any more than I already do at this point.

 

I hated ya from the beginnin’, so it’s impossible for my impression of you ta get any worse.

 

Madara: We’re not discussing what is and isn’t possible. We’re talking about what we should be doing.

 

Kohaku: So it’s about obligations. I hate that word.

 

Madara: Actually, it's about damage control.

 

Let's wind our conversation back a little bit. Our job this time never had a clear deadline.

 

We want to protect J. We cannot ignore our connection to that child. Besides, he asked me to save him.

 

I’m no hero who can gallantly come running when someone yells “Help me!”. But I also wasn’t able to become the kind of villain who can just ignore those kinds of screams.

 

I’m half-hearted and pathetic, but this time, I want to be able to protect the person I want to protect.

 

I was never able to do that before. I could only stand by idly and watch as this reality cut my little sister and Kanata-san into tiny pieces.

 

But this time, I might be able to protect J.

 

This time for sure, I want to become the kind of hero I longed for.

 

Even if that ends up being nothing more than a vigilante who ignores the law as he pretends to be a hero and hides himself behind a mask while he beats up bad guys.

 

That is my dream. It’s the dream I was unable to throw away.

 

Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Sakura nee-han, Kohaku, Madara, Maguro

 

 

Nee-han: But that bein’ said, some people are willin’ ta take that risk. Like the mafia overseas we were arguin’ with. 

 

Since their home is overseas, they don’t care how much they’re hated or criticized inside of this small country. It doesn’t bother them a bit.

 

Madara: I thought the foreign mafia - that is, Gatekeeper - withdrew from Japan?

 

Nee-han: Do ya think that man was the one pullin’ all the strings outside o’ Japan?

 

Both forces that were at odds with him as well as forces that were operatin’ under his control are still movin’ around in this country’s underbelly.

 

Madara: So those leftovers after Gatekeeper are targeting J?

 

Nee-han: At the same time, unrest is spreadin’ all across the country. And you two, Double Face, are set ta receive that inheritance said ta be large enough ta turn the entire country on its head.

 

Kohaku: Huh? We don’t want anythin’ ta do with J’s inheritance, though? We’re just protectin’ him from evil people who might come after ‘im fer his inheritance, fer the sake of justice.

 

Nee-han: Society doesn’t see it that way. Those evil people livin’ on the dark side of society are convinced that we, the Oukawas, as well as Madara-kun’s folks are tryin’ ta monopolize that inheritance.

 

Especially since the name Mikejima is seen as a symbol of justice ta these folks.

 

Actually, it’s a well-known fact that the reason why yer mother still holds so much influence is because she has the backing of the Mikejima name.

 

Our family and yours. By cooperatin’, we planned ta steal the inheritance for ourselves, and seize control of this country’s underworld. 

 

Those kinda rumors are spreadin’ like wildfire in the underworld right now.

 

Madara: Where would such baseless rumors even have started…?

 

Nee-han: This sounds like a bad joke, but they started because people have been watchin’ yer show.

 

Madara: What now? Why would such a silly program lead to something like this…?

 

Nee-han: Think about it. The premise of that show is that ya and our Kohaku act as “parents” who try ta protect ‘n raise the cute lil J-kun. And truthfully, the three of ya appear to get along surprisingly well.

 

Ta those shallow-minded folks, it looks like our family and yer family have formed an “alliance”. They see it as us declarin’ that we have forged a bond, and that our families will work together from now on.

 

Those guys saw yer program as “proof” that their worst fears were valid.

 

Kohaku: But-- I see, that’s how it appears to them.

 

Madara: Hahaha. Just because we’re acting as a close-knit unit, the entire neighborhood starts thinking that we’re married.

 

Kohaku: That’s probably not exactly what they’re worried ‘bout. But the fact is that they’re gettin’ suspicious of us.

 

That’s actually kinda unexpected. 

 

Nee-han: Yup. I thought ya might not be expectin’ this, so that’s why I came here ta warn ya both.

 

Be careful. Well, I’m probably preachin’ to the choir by explainin’ this to ya who were born into yakuza families who made their fortunes by takin’ advantage of the public’s anxieties.

 

“Anxiety” is the biggest cause fer conflict between people. 

 

The human brain perceives our reality somethin’ like 0.3 seconds after it actually occurs. It’s like the Achilles paradox, our consciousness is always runnin’ behind, and can never catch up with, our reality.

 

We can’t even understand the present, much less the future. And while our brain’s desperately tryin’ ta analyze our present situation, our body starts movin’ on its own, driven by anxiety.

 

Since the guy in front of ya could punch ya 0.3 seconds from now, ya get so worried that in order ta protect yerself from that potential threat, ya end up punchin’ and killin’ that guy first.

 

If ya kill your enemy, the threat is gone, and so is yer anxiety.

 

In order to get rid of all our anxiety, we end up wantin’ ta destroy anythin’ that can turn into a threat.

 

That’s the kinda creatures humans are.

 

Kohaku: …

 

Nee-han: And the two of ya are settin’ off such “anxiety” in these real dangerous types.

 

Ya have stepped on a land mine. So, I came over here ta tell ya to watch yer back.

 

I bet it’s the same fer Maguro-chan. Siblings might just be strangers who happen ta own genes similar to one another-

 

But we work similarly ta how cursed straw dolls do. If someone similar to us gets hurt or destroyed, we start hurtin’ like crazy.

 

Of course, this is merely our “anxiety”. The two of ya have no obligation ta get rid of that “anxiety” fer us. 

 

This might just sound like yer sister is bein’ annoyin’ and scoldin’ ya for no reason. But I would be happy if ya could keep this warnin’ in the back of yer head rather than ignorin’ me completely.

 

The two of ya are tryin’ ta walk across a much more dangerous tightrope than ya realize.

 

If ya lose yer balance, everythin’ will be over.

 

No. The balance of the entire underworld surrounding J-kun has already collapsed long ago.

 

It’s up ta ya two performers ta see whether or not ya can get back on yer feet and finish walkin’ across the tightrope. 

 

Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Kohaku, Madara

 

 

Kohaku: Hafuu~♪ I’m all done in the bath~♪

 

It’s yer turn to bathe J today, Madara-han, the bath's ready for ya. I know ya showered after the shoot, but we did a lot of exercisin’ and sweatin’ today so make sure ya get in the bath as well.

 

-Wait, what’re ya doin’?

 

Madara: Aah, Kohaku-san, please save me… Our next guest on the show is supposed to be this famous artist who makes parenting manga.

 

Kohaku: I’ve heard. Their main job is ta be a painter, but then they kinda blew up on social media when they drew some parentin’ manga.

 

People are sayin’ that they’re the best at drawin’ realistic parentin’ in all of Japan nowadays.

 

Madara: Though, since they’ve been invited to our show, the chance is high that they are simply a “fraud” who has put up a sparkling facade.

 

Either way, J was saying how he wanted to prepare for our next show, so he has been practicing drawing pictures using me as a model for a while now.

 

You know, since the concept for the next episode is for J to draw pictures with that artist… I dabbled in restoring some paintings while at the Maizuru House, so J wanted me to teach him how to draw.

 

Kohaku: Huh. Ta think that yer actually properly doin’ yer homework, color me impressed.

 

Madara: Right. J is enjoying participating in the show for some reason. Well, that’s probably a good thing, I think-

 

But he keeps insisting that I stay still while he’s drawing, and won’t even let me move my fingertips… My back has been itching like crazy for a while, but if I try to scratch it, he gets mad.

 

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪ So even the greatest villain of our age, Mikejima Madara, can’t win against a child’s tears, huh?

 

Madara: Who are you calling a great villain? Even I’m not that bad, I’m pretty sure.

 

Kohaku: You’re not. Well then, allow me ta scratch yer itch, here ya go ♪

 

…N? J, could ya show me what yer drawin’? Thanks ♪

 

Wow, so ya drew me as well, huh. That makes me happy. Yer pretty good at drawin’, ya captured my charm points perfectly.

 

Madara: You’re being way too generous with your praise, isn’t that just some doodle that any normal kid could pull off?


 

Kohaku: Bein’ able ta do normal things to a normal extent is actually pretty great. We need ta praise ‘im fer that.

 

The first time I managed ta hit the target with a throwing knife, my bigger sisters all praised me a lot.

 

Madara: No, that’s not a normal thing for children to do, and your family isn’t anywhere near normal in the first place, you know?

 

Kohaku: Yer like a crow callin’ a raven black. Is yer family normal enough that ya can go around criticizin’ others?

 

Ah~... Wait a sec, J, now that I look closer there’s a small problem with this drawin’.

 

Lookie, seems ya wrote our names next to where ya drew us. But this big one’s name isn’t “Mama”, ya should rewrite it ta “trash” or “idiot” instead.

 

Madara: I can think of so many comebacks for that one. Ever since we started working on the parenting program, I’ve been telling J to stop calling me “Mikejima-sensei”.

 

Kohaku: Ah, well since we are supposed ta be like parents fer J, it would break immersion if he called ya as “sensei”. 

 

Madara: Yup. Even then, I didn’t expect he would start calling me “Mama”.

 

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪ Does it feel too official so ya don’t like it?

 

Madara: Well, yeah. We are pretending to be something of a family, but I still don’t feel like a real parent even a little.

 

I still don’t think I’m fit to play a motherly role, after all.

 

Kohaku: N~... From my point of view, I think yer actually surprisingly good at bein’ a guardian, it’s made me rethink my impression of ya. 

 

It feels like ya are weirdly proficient at helpin’ out with makin’ food and takin’ baths and all that.

 

Madara: Ah, well, I used to be in charge of taking care of a rather “troublesome child” back in the day… My younger sister was sickly, and her legs didn’t work, so she couldn’t do much without help.

 

While helping her out with all that, I naturally ended up learning how to take care of children. Or rather, I got used to it.

 

Kohaku: Wow. So ya have a lil’ sister, huh. I only have elder sisters, so I’m kinda jealous. What kind of person is yer lil’ sis? I guess as her big brother, ya can’t help but think she’s cute, huh?

 

Madara: H~m. Compared to that thing, roadkill scores higher on the cuteness scale-

 

-Ouch!?

 

Kohaku: …!? What happened, Madara-han? Did ya get shot?

 

Fuck, I let my guard down! Are the villains targetin’ J here…!?

 

Madara: Ah, wait a second. I’m alright, it seems this isn’t anything like that.

 

Kohaku: Oh?

 

Madara: Look, there’s a letter tied to the stone that was thrown in here. Looking at the signature, it seems this is from a person neither one of us would want to meet.

 

Depending on the circumstances, this might be a much more annoying opponent compared to some villain targeting J.

 

Kohaku: …?



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Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Tsukasa, Kohaku, Madara

 

-

 

 

Tsukasa: Welcome home, Oukawa! And to Mikejima-senpai and J-san as well!

 

I’ve made the preparations for dinner and a bath! You’ve all worked hard on-set today as well, so please take this time to rest your bones ♪

 

Kohaku: What are ya, a newlywed wife?

 

Madara: Nah, if anything he’s like an eldest daughter who’s a prim and proper honor student.

 

Tsukasa: I am the eldest son of the Suou family! What, are you two trying to make fun of me?

 

Kohaku: We’re praisin’ ya. Ya are Double Face’s biggest investor, but usually people don’t go out of their way like this fer people outside o’ their own unit. 

 

Ya could’ve just ignored us, but ya have been super nice ta us all this time.

 

Tsukasa: It’s only natural. Even though we belong to different Units, Double Face is an ally belonging to the same agency as myself. Besides, it is my duty as the head of the Suou family to protect Oukawa.

 

Of course, this extends to J-san, who is something like Oukawa’s child. 

 

Rather, if the two of you were to treat me as an outsider and refuse my involvement, that would only make me angry.

 

Kohaku: I hate that kinda behavior as well, so I would never do that to ya. But ya even went as far as ta remodel the Suou mansion that’s been in yer family fer generations all fer J’s sake.

 

Tsukasa: Yes. I asked Saegusa-senpai for advice and was able to rebuild our home into a stronghold capable of protecting J-san. Right now, even if a horde of rogues were to attack us, we would be fine.

 

Madara: We would have been fine staying in the hotel Ibara-san prepared for us as well, though.

 

Tsukasa: No can do. A Hotel is merely a temporary accommodation. It is not meant for longer periods of time.

 

It is hardly sufficient lodging for growing children. For J-san’s emotional development, staying in a place with a human soul will prove more beneficial.

 

Kohaku: Are ya sayin’ the Suou family mansion is that special?

 

Tsukasa: If it isn’t yet, then I will make it so. I’m serious about this.

 

Kohaku: I think it’s good. Fer me, even Starmony Dorm is too stylish ta get used to. Compared ta that, the Suou family mansion feels easier ta breathe in.

 

Madara: I’m inclined to agree. My family mansion feels too much like some yakuza headquarters, after all.

 

Well, I’m used to staying at hotels as well since I’ve been traveling abroad a lot. Still, staying at that luxury hotel made me feel as if Ibara-san was watching my every move, so I couldn’t really relax.

 

Tsukasa: I can imagine. I do hope you all can relax and enjoy yourselves while staying in my home.

 

I will protect your peace of mind.

 

Kohaku: Still, I’m surprised Ibara-han signed off on this. I would’ve expected him ta want ta keep J close-by fer the sake of the treasure chest which is GFK’s inheritance.

 

Tsukasa: My negotiations broke him down bit by bit.

 

It was a simple negotiation of exchanging goods for prices.

 

Those kinds of deals are easy to understand. I found Saegusa-senpai to be a much easier negotiation partner compared to Leo-san, who always acts purely based on intuition.

 

Madara: Ah~ Leo-san can be troublesome like that. I always feel as if I’m a foreign merchant trying to negotiate with someone who won’t take my currency.

 

Leo-san doesn’t really place any value in things like money, which are usually seen as important by businessmen like Ibara-san. 

 

Poor Leo-san must’ve really had a hard time when he got tangled up with GFK, who only ever cared about money.

 

Tsukasa: Fufu. Come to think of it, the tale of Double Face all began because of that person, didn’t it?

 

After all this time, allow me to say this one more time: Thank you very much for saving that person.

 

As the one who inherited the crown from that person, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Madara: You don’t owe me any thanks, it’s fine. I just wanted to help out my friend, that’s all.

 

That was supposed to be the whole story, and yet things became this complicated…

 

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪ Isn’t it karma after livin’ freely yer whole life, causin’ trouble fer everyone an’ everything?

 

It’s a proclamation from God, tellin’ ya to do somethin’ for the good of someone else fer once, I’m sure.

 

Madara: I doubt I’m living up to his expectations, then. All I’ve been doing lately is starring in that insane program of ours and playing the fool.

 

Personally, I would have preferred to flashily defeat the forces of evil with a Rider Kick or a Spacium Beam* or something cool like that. 

 

Tsukasa: Even if you say that, you are participating in that program on the basis that we all agreed that was the best course of action, correct?

 

I actually rather enjoy watching that program myself. Even though, as one of the investors, the footage is sent to me ahead of the broadcasting schedule so I can review it.

 

I burst out laughing this time as well. Ah, please note that I am merely using “burst out laughing” as a figure of speech. Though it sounds rather vulgar, I simply couldn’t think of any other suitable expression.