Last Mission - Karmic Retribution 5

[rubestie]

Season: Winter

 

Writer: Akira

 

Characters: Madara, Kohaku, Tsukasa

 

 

Madara: Hahaha. Our guest this time was a gym instructor who kept insisting that as long as you have muscles, there is nothing you can’t do.

 

As soon as filming began, he provoked J, who has defeated every single guest we’ve had thus far.

 

He was saying something like “I’m different from those weaklings you’ve dealt with up until now! Come at me, you fucking brat!”.

 

Kohaku: And then before ya knew it, J had gotten annoyed and kicked the instructor on the back of his knee, where there’re no muscles fer him to train. He moved so quickly that even I barely managed ta see it.

 

J then got on top of the guest while he was still disoriented, and began pullin’ on his hair. Ya can’t work out yer hair roots either, after all. It was a really precise attack.

 

Tsukasa: Indeed. The match was decided at that point. After that, the guest was so frightened by J-san that he shrank like a soaked kitten outside in the rain.

 

Kohaku: It was the quickest defeat of any of our guests yet.

 

Tsukasa: As a viewer, it was the type of development that made me want to exclaim “I’ve been waiting for this!”.

 

At this point the public starts bustling the moment new guests are announced, saying things like “So this is the newest victim…”

 

They’ve also started coming with predictions and getting excited together about each episode. Someone were guessing that “Since the guest this time is really muscular, they’ll probably defeat him by mentally constraining him.”

 

Kohaku: I guess everyone’s done pretendin’ that this show is about parentin’ at this point. They sound more like guests goin’ ta see a pro wrestlin’ match.

 

Madara: Hahaha. Or maybe like tokusatsu fans who get excited to see new heroics each week.

 

Tsukasa: Well, they’re creating an immoral and bad-mannered atmosphere, but… Parenting is usually treated as a sacred topic, and it is taboo to treat it as a joke.

 

However. That’s probably exactly why people are getting so excited, as if they are finally allowed to properly play the Trumpets they’ve seen lined up at the store for so long. 

 

Usually it would be breaking social rules to meddle in other people’s private affairs. But precisely because this is something you normally wouldn’t do, people are drawn to the drama that occurs when it happens.

 

By successfully stimulating such vulgar desires amongst the people, your program has become unexpectedly positively received.

 

Even the Producer, Saegusa-senpai, was surprised to see it, you know. “This was really unexpected.” he said.

 

Even Saegusa-senpai must have thought that humanity were fundamentally more virtuous than this. This just means that there are more vulgar people around than one would expect.

 

Kohaku: Yer talkin’ as if this has got nothin’ ta do with ya, but if ya say yer enjoyin’ the program as well then yer also one of those vulgar people, bon. 

 

But hey, that actually makes me feel more at ease. A society made up only of clean an’ righteous people sounds too insufferable fer me.

 

Madara: Of course, most people are clean and righteous, though. More people than expected ended up enjoying the immorality of our show, but as expected we have also faced a tremendous amount of criticism.

 

“You’re making fun of parents and adults.”, “This show is spreading misinformation about parenting.”, “I feel sorry for Double Face and J-kun for being forced into starring in this horrible show”, and so on.

 

Hahaha. They talk as if they can’t even imagine that there are some people who would feel even worse if they were forced to star in a “clean and righteous” show.

 

Tsukasa: But well, you do end up causing some accident each episode… While I do enjoy the show, it also causes me a lot of anxiety.

 

It has me sitting at the edge of my seat. It has already developed further than even Saegusa-senpai could have predicted, so who is to say what kind of unforeseen things will happen in the future.

 

Madara: From here on out, we should be even more meticulous, and carefully make our moves one step at a time.

 

Tsukasa: Of course, I am your ally. I will spare no effort in supporting you, so please feel free to ask me if you run into any problems.

 

Madara: Right. Well, we’ll gratefully be relying on you.

 

…Oopsie. We shouldn’t be standing out here and talking for too long. J is so hungry his stomach is growling.

 

Tsukasa: Aah, I’m sorry to be so inconsiderate!

 

As I mentioned earlier, dinner has already been prepared, so please come to the dining hall once you have finished washing your hands!

 

It seems as if many people are catching colds lately. Please make sure to eat enough to replenish the energy you’ve spent working hard. It would be terrible if any of you were to fall ill.

 

Kohaku: Yer right. So what’s fer dinner tonight?

 

Madara: Or rather. I might be late in asking, but are you sure it’s okay for me and J to eat here as well?

 

Tsukasa: Of course. Please think of this place as your own home, okay?

 

Madara: Sorry to freeload off of you.

 

Tsukasa: Don’t be, we should help each other out when we are in trouble.

 

Mikejima-senpai. It seems you are able to connect with and help out with the darker parts of Oukawa that I don’t understand. 

 

However. The parts of him that you and Crazy:B alone cannot reach, I will do my best to take care of those.

 

I am this child’s family. I want you to take this as a declaration to you, his friend, from me, his family.

 

Madara: Hahaha. Seems like we’ve become friends all of a sudden, Kohaku-san?

 

Kohaku: We are comrades, for what it’s worth.

 

We might not be friends or family, but we do have some feelings between us. And those feelings are enough of a reason fer me ta take action along ya.

 

Ain’t that right, buddy?

 

Madara: Buddies, huh… Hahaha. That might not be so bad, surprisingly enough.



Navigation:
<Prev chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter>