rubestie

Season: Winter

Writer: Akira

Characters: Madara, Kohaku

Madara: Haha. Villains like GFK, who are purely evil no matter how you look at it, are probably harder to find than you would think.

If this was the plot of a manga or play, however, those types of villains would be readily available for us to defeat.

But in reality, you don’t see that kind of pure evil very often.

Kohaku: One thing I like about ya is that ya ain’t naive enough to spout nonsense like “There is no such thing as pure evil”, Madara-han.

‘Sides. It’s not like we’re allies of justice who only go after the most evil of villains.

We’re a cleanin’ crew who’ll mercilessly reap the villain we set our eyes on, even if that person also has some good qualities.

Justice ain’t a consideration. Well, I’m probably preachin’ to the choir right now.

Madara: Of course, I’m aware. Our job is to clean up any dirty spots.

Though, I guess I’m a little happy since thanks to J we’ve been doing that job in a more gentle way than usual recently.

Even I don’t find pleasure in beating up other people.

Kohaku: I know. I probably ain't the right person ta say this, but I do think ya tend ta sell yerself too short, Madara-han.

Just like the guests starrin’ in our show, ya aren’t some kind of evil incarnate. Yer an ordinary human, a stupid fool who also has some good qualities.

Sure, ya might make mistakes here n’ there, but it’s not like that alone is enough ta make ya into a full-fledged villain.

Madara: Well, per definition I’m definitely more of a villain.

Kohaku: Even then. Just like with our guests, maybe J’ll be able ta bring ya some salvation.

This might just be parental bias, but I can’t help but think that J has that kind of mysterious power.

kohaku+madara

Madara: …J isn’t God.

There is no God who can save people and guide them on the path to virtue.

Kohaku: Of course I know that. The only ones who can save humans are other humans.

I’m just hopeful that J can become such a benefactor to ya.

Madara: You shouldn’t lay too much trust in others. J is already burdened with something far too heavy for his young age.

If we were to increase that burden any more, it would become heavy enough to crush even a “monster”.

Kohaku: One thing I kinda hate about ya is that ya keep bein’ unnecessarily considerate and treatin’ other people like they’re children and then ya push them away. We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout good and evil right now, we’re talkin’ 'bout preferences.

Ya need ta beat iron down ta forge it properly. We won’t always be able ta stay next ta J and protect him.

J himself needs ta become strong, or else he won’t be able ta survive what’s comin’.

Madara: Even then, if we were to crush him in the name of training him to survive, we’d be putting the cart before the horse.

…Oh, oops?

Kohaku: Ah~... Sorry ‘bout that, J. We ended up wakin’ ya up by makin’ too much noise. Ya were finally able ta get some comfortable sleep too.

Ya can just keep sleepin’ without worryin’, there’s still some time left before we start shootin’ the episode, after all.

No? Ya got worried ‘cause ya thought me and Madara-han were arguin’?

Madara: Hahaha. We weren’t arguing, papa and I were just discussing how to go about your education.

Kohaku: Who’re ya callin’ papa. Try sayin’ that again, I’ll make it so ya can never eat hard foods again.

Madara: These threats keep getting scarier… I was just making a joke.

Kohaku: How about ya actually start tellin’ funny jokes from now on.

Madara: …Oh? We’ve been called at a good time. Seems like this episode’s guest has arrived, so Ibara-san wants us to go say hello before the shoot starts.

Kohaku: I see. Well then, let’s see what kind of weirdo we’ll be dealin’ with this time around.

Madara: Hahaha. No matter who it is, they’re no enemy of J’s. And of course, me and Kohaku-san are there to protect him, so all will be fine.

This time as well, us Double Face, will happily and thrillingly punish these bad adults and make them repent their actions.

Kohaku: This is supposed ta be a program about raisin’ kids, but it’s completely become a program about raisin’ adults, huh.

kohaku+madara